Late 20s tgirl. Elf ear pervert. Some say hemipenis girl. Writing mostly original F/F. Stories will frequently be horny so if you're under 18 you're getting blocked.



relia-robot
@relia-robot

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"I feel ridiculous."

"You are ridiculous, dear. You're a King's Hand, a pompous, overdressed asshole with more money and power than good sense, but only if they do exactly what the King tells them. You're a sycophantic evil lackey, so try to act like it."

Knight screwed up her face, crossed her eyes, and shouted, "I'm a big jerk and I like to kick babies for lunch!"

Jester paused in adjusting the outfit they'd stolen from the other Hand. "Maybe tone it down a little."

Renna cleared her throat. "I say there, you, serving boy, bring me another snifter of brandy, wot?"

"Right attitude, wrong era. Just throw in a few thees and thous and you'll be fine."

Renna risked a glance over at her mech. Currently, it was about half covered with some kind of bubbling black ooze. She gritted her teeth and looked forwards again.

"I told you not to look."

"Tell me again that my mech's gonna be okay?"

"It's going to be fine, Renna. The nanomachines just need to learn how it fits together." There was a schlorp noise from behind them, like a gas bubble escaping from a swamp. "Inside and out."

Renna suppressed a shudder. "Easy for you to say. You're used to those things."

There was a snapping noise as Jester broke off the thread she'd been sewing with. "There you go, that should be it. Now, we can hide some of the mass under your cloak, and give you a wineskin - don't drink it, obviously - but the goop will need more than that, so don't be shocked if it tries to eat other stuff nearby. It won't hit anything organic, but try not to stand next to any compute nodes, okay?"

Renna shuddered. "Well, fine, but how are you going to get in?"

"What, you don't think I'd make a good witch? Nobody refuses a witch." Jester bent double over the cauldron she'd used to store the nanite seeds, which was still churning, and made her voice go low and raspy. "Double, double, toil and trouble...!"

The effect was ruined somewhat by the jester hat she wore falling off and into the vat before she could catch it. "Drat." It floated to the surface a moment later, then rose up on a pillar of black ooze. "Ah, thanks!" She picked it up again, dusted it off, then fistbumped the nanites, which had formed a rudimentary hand for the purpose.

Renna watched all of this with a slightly queasy look on her face. "Listen, if you're gonna be the night's entertainment, you coulda just said so. And please, leave the ooze at home."

Jester's eyes sparkled and she grinned widely. She opened her mouth-

"Nope. Stop. I don't know if you were gonna make a Knight pun or a joke about my 'ooze' or both but I do not wanna hear it."

"Spoilsport."


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