Late 20s tgirl. Elf ear pervert. Some say hemipenis girl. Writing mostly original F/F. Stories will frequently be horny so if you're under 18 you're getting blocked.



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The Queen emerges from her chambers, a touch unsteady but otherwise recovered. The Fool applauds her, and she rolls her eyes and curtsies.

"Yes, yes, I'm very impressive." She giggles. "How long was I out?"

"Bit more than three days, Highness." Answers the Knight, and the Queen scoffs.

"Oh, that's nothing! I hope I didn't worry you too much."

"Didn't look like nothing." Says the Fool.

"No, really! Fair knight, you remember when we were twelve- I was completely out of it for almost a full week! It really seemed like I would die that time, and yet here I am!"

"Forgive me if I can't take it in stride just yet, Your Majesty." Grumbles the Fool. "I find myself rather upset at the thought I might lose you so soon."

"Oh, and I you, my poor fool." Says the Queen, as she takes her hand. "But this is how it is. Besides, anybody could die at any time! My odds are just a bit worse, is all, and I think I've been rather lucky so far!"

"Assassins and a vulnerability to disease are lucky?" Says the Fool, drawing her into a hug.

"They are if you don't die!" The Queen says, beaming. "Anything new with regards to my assassination?"


"Alright, so by all accounts, your oldest uncle is next in line for the throne." The Knight says, hunched over a collection of clues.

"That sounds right."

"But, your father only became king in the first place because your uncle didn't want it. It'd be unusual to come back and kill him for it."

"Unusual, but not impossible." Says the Fool. "After him is your eldest aunt, but she's a widow and the Assassin said they worked for the future king."

"Okay."

"But she could be using an alias."

"Rrrrright." Says the Queen, scratching her head.

"Then you have... this uncle, this one, this aunt... I don't know. The easiest place to start is just, the more likely they are to succeed you the more suspicious they are. Then we have to consider who was in a position to orchestrate this plot, who was in a position to have orchestrated the plot against your parents-"

"Can't we just speak with my assassin?" The Queen asks.

"We haven't gotten anything out of them yet."

"Can I try?" She asks. "I'm personable, maybe they'll talk to me."

The Fool and Knight look at eachother, and shrug.

~

"Hello?" Calls the Queen, into the darkness of her would-be assassin's cell.

"Hello, Highness." They reply. "I see you yet live."

"I need to know who hired you."

"No."

"Are there other assassins?"

"Who's to say?"

"Did you kill my parents?"

"I can't recall." They say flatly.

The Queen huffs.

"Will you really tell me nothing? Do you think your employer is pleased with you, after that embarrassment?"

"We'll laugh about it, in time."

She folds her arms.

"Well, then I have no use for you." She says. "My Knight, execute them."

"Highness!?" The Knight sputters.

"I mean it!" The Queen insists, and so the Knight unsheathes her blade and unlocks the cell. The chained assassin watches her enter the room in silence. She raises the sword over her shoulder and-

"WAit stop stop please stop I was bluffing stop!" Babbles the Queen, and she halts. "Dammit."

The Knight leaves the cell and locks it again, and the Assassin almost imperceptibly releases a breath.

"Wait." They say, as the Queen and her retinue make to leave. "I don't know the true identity of my employer, but the guild will have severed contact once the mission failed for their own safety, and they won't touch anything with your name on it for some time. If he wants you dead, he'll have to figure it out himself."

"Really?"

"Yes. That's all you'll get from me."

"Oh, thank you!" The Queen squeaks, clasping her hands together.

"Please." The Assassin says, tired. "Do not thank me. I'd prefer if no one ever speaks of this at all, if it's all the same to you."

"Okay." Says the Queen. "Should... Should we let them go, do you think?"

"No." Says the Knight.

"FUCK no!" Says the Fool.

"But-"

"It would look bad for me, being let go. Make it obvious I talked."

"Aw."

"Worry not for me, I'll escape."

"That's...gooood..?" Says the Queen, and her girlfriends grimace.

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