Late 20s tgirl. Elf ear pervert. Some say hemipenis girl. Writing mostly original F/F. Stories will frequently be horny so if you're under 18 you're getting blocked.



relia-robot
@relia-robot

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The King lounged with a goblet of fine wine while HANGED_MAN juggled knives. The exact number of knives varied occasionally as one of them went sailing through the air to impact near a terrified page who had slightly annoyed the King earlier. The King yawned. "Enough of this. See him away, fool."


HANGED_MAN's angular, gangly body bowed as he caught each knife in turn. The page sagged in relief, only to cry out as the floor beneath him suddenly vanished. The robot laughed as the floor shimmered back into position, cutting off the page's scream.

"Thy tricks grow old, fool. I tire of these dreary days."

"Sire, is the tribute thou receivest lacking? The quality of thy wine insufficient? Perhaps a round of motivating thy people to produce better goods would place a smile upon thy kingly face?"

"Nay, the people of this world bore me. I require something new. Something exciting." The King stood and strode towards the window overlooking the capital.

"Perhaps a parade, your highness?" A holographic procession of musicians, grand carriages, and a palanquin for the King set upon six large mechs floated through the air outside the window. "Or perhaps a different kind of parade would suit thine interests?" A separate hologram showed the King in a giant, gilded mech leading a procession of robotic soldiers and other pilots. The two met, and began to fight, holographic swords clashing against mandolins, throwing colorful sparks into the air.

The King waved his hands through the air, dispersing both holograms, and turned away from the window. "Nay, I say! Thou hast a singular focus, fool, and it suits not my mood." He sighed, pacing the room. "I wish I had another I could confide in and plan with aside from thee."

"Ooh, sire! What a wonderful idea!" HANGED_MAN capered back into the King's view, his head continuing to spin for a moment after his body stopped gyrating. "A wedding! A great search for a bride suited for the King! Oh, what wonderful chaos that will cause!" Another hologram appeared, the King in formal raiments alongside a beautiful young blonde woman with exaggerated proportions, both at an altar attended to by the robotic fool.

"A wedding... merry, fool, thine idea has some merit." The King stroked his well-trimmed beard. He snapped his fingers. "And I know just the bride! Our recent guest, that Adelaide girl! Yes, I believe she'll do nicely."

HANGED_MAN stopped capering. "Adelaide? Sire, she attempted to assassinate thee. Without mine timely intervention-"

The King waved away his objection and turned away. "Pah! She poses no threat to my kingly physique. Certainly not with thee around to keep an eye on things. And she's far more valiant and bold than any of the peasants who live here. Oh, things will become far more interesting with her as my bride!"

HANGED_MAN sidestepped back into the King's view. "Sire, if I may be so bold, her attempt on thy life may mean that she shall hesitate to accept thy generous offer."

"Well, then it shall by thy job to convince her. And begin preparing for the wedding! Oh, it must be a grand affair..."

"Your majesty, the girl may be difficult to convince-"

"Enough! I care not how thou dost convince her, fool, but convince her you shall. Now, begone!"

HANGED_MAN slunk out of the room like a scolded dog, and the King once again picked up his goblet and drank deeply.


Adelaide woke up disoriented, her legs tangled in something, warm and cool and smooth all at once. She flailed around, trying to get the blanket off of her face, before remembering that her arm had been removed. She tried again, prying her left arm out from where it had been wedged, and heard a grumpy-sounding mumble from behind her.

Oh. Right.

It seemed like while she'd been sleeping she'd snaked her legs through the bars to interlock with Knight's as they slept back-to-back. She tried to ease them out again, but Knight clamped down sleepily and mumbled something else Adelaide couldn't make out. It was pretty cute, actually, but Adelaide was beginning to get toasty in more ways than one, and she really wanted to extract herself before Knight woke up. Because.... because...

The red crept up her face while she remained trapped between Knight's legs and the iron bars, warmed by their mutual body heat. Her one arm couldn't provide enough leverage to twist herself out of the position she found herself in.

And someone was coming up the stairs.

Someone with a jester's cap on.

She wrenched herself out of Knight's grip and steadfastly refused to speculate on her muscles under the blanket. She twisted her ankle in the process, and couldn't stop Knight from waking up, but at least she managed to get into a sitting position with her clothes arranged for reasonable modesty when-

HANGED_MAN turned the corner, and Adelaide's mood instantly soured. "Fuck off, thou wretch."

He put his hands to his cheeks in mock shock. "Such language! My, it is hardly becoming for a lady of the court to speak such words. And here I was simply wondering where thou hadst gone! It wouldn't do to allow the King's treasured guest to get lost."

"As if thou didst not have knowledge of all the folds and manifolds of this castle."

"Whazzat?" Knight had managed to wrestle herself upright. "Oh. It's that guy."

HANGED_MAN shook his head. "Thou deservest far better company than that lowborn oaf. I'm afraid for thine own safety I must insist that thou sleep in thine own quarters. I shall personally see that they are the most comfortable thou hast ever been in."

"I'm just sure thou shalt," said Adelaide, her voice dripping with contempt.

"Of course, my lady! Now, come along! Breakfast is served, and we must get thee presentable for the King." He danced away down the stairs.

"Figures," said Knight, her arms pressed against the bars to form a cushion for her head. "When did you get so good at ye olde timey speech, anyway? I can barely keep up when I'm actually awake."

Adelaide hesitated. "You know, I'm... not certain? I hadn't heard it much before we got here." She frowned.

HANGED_MAN poked his head back up the stairs. "Coming, fair lady? We must make haste! The King has great plans for thee, very soon!"

Adelaide and Knight shared a look, and Adelaide left, wincing on every stair.


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