capacle
@capacle

Last November, I shared on Rеddіt my 2-year perspective as a full-time game designer.

Since then, that post's been seen more than 80,000 times.

The conversation helped me investigate aspects of my career going forward.

And some important changes are about to happen.

If you follow me, you probably remember a thread from August, in which I announced that 2022 would be my last attempt to make this path work.

Well, it's 2023.

And although I consider my Раtrеоn a success, I'm still below 50% of my goal.

What now?

One of the major takeaways from that reflection was that I spend most of my time promoting my games, rather than making them.

My actual "job" is selling games, if I'm being honest.

Ironically, I'd potentially make more games if I were not a full-time game designer.

In general, the advice I received on how to make a sustainable living out of games was to double-down on that path.

Do more marketing, follow more trends, become an actual company.

Look at my career as a proper business, not as an art project.

And also:

Foster a community around one of my games, offer support and create supplements, and so on, instead of making many different games.

Either that, or offer my services as a freelance writer/editor.

All these ideas have something in common:

I don't wanna.

It took me a long time and a high dose of self-honesty to admit that I'm not willing to do that.

I've just turned 40, and after leaving a somewhat successful career to pursue my dream, I'm not ready to succumb to what the market demands.

Not quite yet.

So what am I going to do?

Stop.

Not with games, but with the rest.

To become what I truly am, I'm deciding first to stop being what I am not.

No more constant marketing, no more trying to keep up with 11 different social platforms.

I'll still promote and share my (and friends') stuff eventually, but I'll stop worrying about it.

It was like having 20 tabs constantly open on my mind's browser.

Spencer Campbell once said he wishes he could be a TTRPG hermit who goes into the mountains and then eventually emerges with a new game.

Well, I might just try that.

Hopefully, the free time allows me to explore more, to be curious once again.

To let my mind wander.

I'll continue with my Раtrеоn, I love that little cozy corner we created together.

I also polled about creating a game design-focused nеwѕlеttеr, and got an immensely positive response.

So that is going to happen.

Again, with no commercial pressure whatsoever.

I am well aware that this resolution is a self-inflicted commercial annihilation.

The Algorithm™ will swallow me whole and spit me out on the shores of irrelevance.

But I'm tired of swimming against the tide.

I just want to float for a while.

If you like what I do and want to support me on this unusual path I am in, I deeply appreciate you.

I gathered my nеwѕlеttеr, my Раtrеоn, my games, all in one page.

Here are all the ways you can follow me.

Feel free to share it around.

If you've made it this far, thank you.

I am not sure what the future holds, but I am profoundly relieved to have made this decision.

Here's hoping for a lighter, happier, more rewarding 2023.

I'll see you around, my friends.


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in reply to @capacle's post:

It's a tough choice! I'm glad you're able to make one that's healthy for you, and your ability to keep making games. Honestly, while I empathize with the sentiment of "going into the mountains to just make games", I couldn't bring myself to do that because I still love making games with/alongside others. It doesn't have to be direct collaboration, but just having a group of people to cheer for as you make cool stuff together or help each other playtest and bounce ideas off each other is part of the joy of making games for me. I hope you're able to recharge this year and have good peers to support you in that too :)

I wish you the best of luck. It is a difficult and hard choice; it takes a sober attitude and an ocean of courage to accept that things are not working, stop, take a good look and just stop what is undesirable and not working.

I hope you find a way to be compensated for your efforts, but it was not like you were being before (that's like half the problem). So at the very least, if you don't manage that, I hope you get more support to be able to do what you actually want to do.

We're a two person operation and we both realized we needed to do something like this about a year after going full time. It's been amazing for our ability to design and even play games for enjoyment. Our current project is both the best work we've ever done and my current favorite game. I hope it works out even better for you!