what I like about hypnosis and dehumanization and dom/slave dynamics is that I want to feel useful. in my life I constantly feel like a burden and hate it and myself, and I do shit that’s selfish without realizing and then feel bad about it but because I’m a stupid emotionally stunted idiot i don’t know how to apologize in any meaningful way. so to mitigate this I just act like a fucking pushover which fucks me over just as much. i just want to remove myself from the equation and just be a useful object instead of a person.
