Mech Pilot who has to tell the new pilot that they can't salvage and refit enemy weapons to their own mech.
UNITED MILITARY SOLUTIONS
IN-THEATRE RECORDING TRANSCRIPT
LOCATION: LUXHANG DEFENSE SYSTEMS CORPORATE TERRITORIES, SOUTH AMERICA, FORMER CHILEAN REPUBLIC
RECORDING UNIT: DULLAHAN DRONE #33309
ONSITE STAFF:
THREE SOLUTIONS APPLIANCE SPECIALISTS:
- KARINA "SPINS" MILLER
- FREDERICK "DRONE" SHORN
- SIERRA "PICKY" CALVIN
REMOTE STAFF
- WALTER "WHALETEETH" RIVERS (SUBORBITAL POSITION)
MISSION PROFILE: DESTROY THE INDEHAR MUNITIONS FACILITY AND REMOVE EXOCORPORATE FORCES FROM MANUFACTURE & EXTRACTION ZONES
EYES ONLY
RECORDING BEGINS. CALVIN, MILLER, AND SHORN ADVANCE INTO THE OUTER MANUFACTURING RING, SINCE LEVELED BY MASS ACS-20 ROCKET SALVOS DELIVERED BY RIVERS.
MILLER:
- "Jesus wept, there's nothing left!"
CALVIN:
- "I forgot this was your first sortie with Whaleteeth. He does this sometimes, when Mergers & Acquisitions lets him off the leash."
M:
- "I'm happy no one's shooting back, but what's left here to even fight over?"
SHORN:
- "The lithium extraction equipment is all underground. The surface facilities were largely logistical in nature - warehouses, garages, staff barracks -"
C:
- "There were civilians here!?"
S:
- "Luxhang ran an 'Efficiency Society' on this campus. Things like worker commutes were deemed inefficient. Every employee was tracked and compared to specific economy-of-movement models. Walk too slow, yawn too much, swing a pick wrong, you get hit with penalties. They were barely alive to begin with."
C:
- "Mercy or not, I didn't sign on to glass civilians."
RIVERS (REMOTE BROADCAST FROM SUBORBITAL POSITION):
- "And you didn't! Your hands are perfectly clean."
C:
- "You know what I mean, asshole."
SILENCE FOR THREE MINUTES. GROUND UNITS PROCEED ON FOOT TO THE RUINS OF THE INDEHAR FACILITY. SHORN PLANTS A UMS LIGHTFLAG IN THE RUBBLE, WHICH PLAYS THE CUSTOMARY SNATCH OF "UNITED WE THRIVE" ON ACTIVATION.
M:
- "Oooh, look at that!"
S:
- "Trouble?"
M:
- "Nah, nah - it's a Maiman! And the arm cannon is still intact!"
MILLER MOVES TO EXAMINE A DESTROYED LDS SOLUTIONS APPLIANCE. DULLAHAN IFF MARKS IT AS A GRINEER LABS MEDIUM SKIRMISHER MODEL "MAIMAN".
R:
- "For the record, it was not my intent to leave anything intact."
M:
- "Shut up for a second, look! There's not a scratch on the lens! Come to momma, you beautiful thing..."
S:
- "Leave it."
M:
- "Don't be a killjoy, that laser will save me a ton of money in ammo."
C:
- (snickering) "You didn't sign up for salvage rights on this sortie, sucker."
M:
- "None of us did! Drone said it was a mug's game with that psycho up there!"
R:
- "I prefer 'enlightened warrior-sage', thank you."
S:
- "First, that makes you sound more insane, Whale, not less. Second, I apologize to the both of you. I did predict he would not leave any salvageable materiel and advised you both to instead claim a greater cash payout. But now the contracts are signed, and DULLAHAN has doubtlessly already flagged the materiel for extraction. Taking the cannon now is a breach of contract."
M:
- "Fuck. So what happens to it?"
S:
- "Depends. If R&D wants it, it will go to them. If they pass on it, it goes to Liquidation. If they cannot find a buyer, it goes to the Theatre Quartermaster for examination and repair. If they do not find any malware or critical flaws in the device, it will be fitted to an existing mech."
C:
- "Maybe if you start bribing the TQ now you'll get the cannon in a few months."
M:
- "Fuck it. It isn't worth the headache." (Miller delivers a kick to the downed Maiman.)
S:
- "They will fine you if that cannon is damaged."
M:
- "Fuck!"
TRANSCRIPT ENDS.
