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shel
@shel

Growing up, I would go to Thanksgiving with the Irish side of my family and my Jewish mom for a long time would always bring a dairy lokshen kugel. The Irish relatives would always make fun of it and call it "Weird Jewish Mac and Cheese" and pretty consistently it was only my branch of the large Irish family that would eat any of it, which is to say, only the Jews ate it. Everyone was fully 100% Irish Catholic, except for my branch out of 8 branches. We looked strikingly different from everyone else due to being half-Ashkenazi. I, also, being autistic, was of course a picky eater, and didn't like any of the Irish-American foods on offer except for dinner rolls. It didn't process to me like I was looking at food. So even though nobody ate the lokshen kugel, my Mom would still cook it and bring it every year so that I'd have something to eat besides dinner rolls. Then we'd have leftovers for a while after and I'd eat lots of it and she'd scold me because lokshen kugel isn't very healthy, even though she cooked the entire thing explicitly for me specifically to eat.

I asked for the recipe when I was a teenager, and I was told that it was my bubbe Z"L's recipe. The original recipe called from insane high quantities of sugar and butter. My mom described it as "I think this was invented before we knew food could be bad for you" and she explained the ways she'd tweaked it to be more reasonable. The original recipe called for a pound of cottage cheese, a pound of sour cream, a pound of sugar, a pound of butter. I've wondered if maybe they also didn't know how to measure things.

As I grew into adulthood, I realized that I'm severely lactose-intolerant and that eating dairy lokshen kugel is harmful to me. I also realized that my biological family was harmful to me, for reasons I won't get into but which are maybe intuitive if you've read my poetry books. I modified my life to no longer contain the harmful ingredients, and so too did I modify this kugel recipe to be dairy-free; I also adjusted some ratios to be more to-taste. At this point, I don't think most of the recipe is the same as my bubbe's Z"L except maybe that it calls for wide egg noodles and eggs; as well as both cinnamon and black pepper.

Furthermore, I've learned to adapt this recipe to meet the dietary needs and flavor preferences from chosen family who I cook it for a lot. @jessfromonline can't eat gluten, so I figured out how to make it gluten free. With every iteration of making substitutes and alterations, I've gotten feedback from the people I cook it for, and adjusted. This ship-of-theseus recipe is no longer recognizably my biological family's recipe; but it's still a family recipe. It's a chosen family recipe.

Lokshen kugel is a sweet-and-savory noodle pudding that works as a side-dish or dessert. You can adjust it to be more dessertlike or more savory as your prefer. It's very easy to double and serves a large crowd. Goyim never know what to make of it, but Jews seem to love it. It's somewhat bland but in a very pleasing way that makes it comforting to eat.

Ingredients

12oz wide egg noodles or gluten free rotini 1 container non-dairy Sour cream (I usually use Tofutti, substitute oat yogurt if making low-fodmap) 1 container non-dairy Cream cheese (usually tofutti) (Optional) other non-dairy soft cheeses like vegan ricotta or "no-goat goat cheese" as you can find available and feel like shelling out the cash for. Vegan feta cheese was really delicious as a substitute for the non-dairy cream cheese one time. 6 eggs beaten (1 egg for every 2oz noodles) 1/2tbps neutral or butter-flavored non-dairy oil + some for pan 1/2 cup sugar (add extra per taste and depending on how sweet your non-dairy dairies are. Tofutti tends to be sweeter and not need extra sugar, but the vegan sour creams that have been aged, and the vegan goat cheeses, tend to be actually sour and will be better if you add a little more sugar. Experiment) 1 teaspoon salt Spices: black pepper (mandatory). cinnamon (mandatory). Cloves (optional) allspice (optional). A tiny touch of white pepper if you want it really savory.

Preparation

  1. Cook and drain noodles, [if using gluten free: reserve 2TBSP starchy pasta water]
  2. Mix everything except pasta, [pasta water], and salt in large mixing bowl. It's okay if it's lumpy, the heat from the pasta will help with that when you're adding it later
  3. [(If using gluten free) While stirring quickly, add the reserved pasta water a little at a time as if making custard]
  4. Grease a casserole dish with a slightly excessive amount of oil
  5. Mix the mixture from the mixing bowl into the pasta in the casserole dish, add salt to the casserole dish, mix everything until everything is smooth and evenly distributed. Some lumps are good but they should be small and minimal.
  6. Bake 350F on bottom oven rack for ~45m or until the kugel has set (looks like it's not liquid), move to top oven rack ~15m or until the top has some browning. Check on kugel throughout this process as it may take more or less than an hour depending on your oven.

Cut into squares. It's best if you use a small enough casserole dish that the kugel piles high so every slice is like a cube.


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in reply to @shel's post:

I love the phrasing of a 'Ship of Theseus' recipe - the way they'll develop as they're adjusted for the people/requirements/available ingredients over the years is such a natural process of making it very much yours in time.

only a small part of this post but i have never heard anyone use the phrase "It didn't process to me like I was looking at food" before. this is something i realized a while ago was one of my many issues with food but this just brought the thought to the front of my head and i realized that i may want to keep that in mind while organizing my kitchen so perhaps the 'foodness' of food will stand out to me better...