johnnemann
@johnnemann

I love my girlfriend. And she says she loves me. But she really won't let me have my space and privacy when I need it. We recently moved in together, so we're learning all sorts of things about each other, learning to live together in all the normal ways. Like, she gets the shower first in the mornings, we alternate dishwashing nights, I don't leave my clothes on the floor (any more). Normal negotiations of cohabitation.

But we have one big thing we just can't agree on.
She doesn't work, which we both talked about before moving in, and it's fine. I'm lucky enough to be financially very secure thanks to family money - I don't need to work either, but I love my job. Anyway, there's no financial friction, I don't expect her to do all the housework or anything, we don't have kids yet. But what that means is that she's home alone most of the day. I've encouraged her to get out of the house more but she's a homebody. We have a big house, lots of rooms, lots of stuff to do. No reason anyone would be bored! But the one thing I asked was that she not open this one door. With everything, I thought that was a pretty reasonable request, right? Like, it's my space, I don't want her in there. I offered to give her her own private space, too! But every day she's hounding me, "what's behind that door, what's behind that door". (It's not important what's behind that door. Let's say it's my man cave.)

Anyway, this is really really bothering me, and driving a wedge between us. She doesn't understand why I won't just show her. I don't think it's that much to ask to have one space that is just mine. I'm worried she will go against my wishes and open the door one day while I'm gone. If she can't respect my wishes and my privacy like that, then I think I'll probably have to end the relationship right there. What can I do?


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