MAGNUS CARLSEN: (Plays the German Gape Opening by moving one pawn)
OTHER GUY: (Stares at the board like he's trying to burn a hole in it with his mind for a full minute) I resign.
(Screaming, crying, champagne bottles popping, people having sex in the audience)
HIKARU NAKAMURA: (Plays the Idiot Dipshit Opening, What The Fuck Are You Doing Variation)
MAGNUS CARLSEN: (Laughs, responds with the Pathetic Defense For Losers That Never Works)
HIKARU NAKAMURA: (Laughs)
(Thirty solid hours of the most intense combat anyone has ever seen. Dragons circle in the sky above the venue. The sun is eclipsed.)
