Spencer

And so’s I’m sittin theah, so hungry, and I see what looks like a liddle flyin’ cahtoon ham wit wings jus flappin’ around by da mast, and I’m salivatin’, so’s I shoots it wid my crossbow. And den da guy next ta me yells “oh gawd its da albatross!” And I turns to hims and I says “dats no albatross, dats my wife!”

Ladies, don’t ya hates it when deres watah watah everywheah, an’ yet no drop ta drink? Yeah? Well so’s my wife!

And so's da ghost ship pulls up alongsides, and my guy Death and his lady rolls da dice, and Death wins da crew an' da lady wins me. And alls my shipmates starts to dies around me and I turns to her and I says to her, I says, "hey lady, ya very preddy, but I godda tell ya, i already gots a wife!" And den I starts to realize, dats not wat she wants, I'm just supposed to sits heah wit my dead shipmates fuh seven days in a fates "worse den death" as dey say. And I thoughts to myselfs "worse den death? wells, can't be any worse den my wife's cookin'!"