Tofutush

Looking for some caporegimes!!

杀人容易抛尸难。
Professional lurker. Social anxiety. Please don't be scared of me; I'm probably more scared of you.


The Iron Ragdoll Mirrors
linktr.ee/Tofutush
The Iron Ragdoll Cohost page
cohost.org/The-Iron-Ragdoll

(Note: I didn't translate all of them since some were just "hahaha"s.)

  • My master taught me that when lighting incense sticks, I have to wait till it burns out before I can leave. I asked whether it's because it's disrespectful to leave early. He was like "Whaa- No, if you leave while it's burning it might start a fire"
  • Brother: Keep your mouth tight and don't run it everywhere. Me: Brother, some people came looking for trouble this morning and I cursed them shitless. Brother: Some people deserve a scolding, so I guess you fulfilled their destiny
  • I once asked a Daoist priest the biggest difference between Daoism and Confucianism. He didn't even bat an eyelid as he said "We don't show off." Rang in everybody's ears.
  • Daoism: Believe in us? Great. Don't believe in us? Okay.
  • Hahaha, I remember when buying my first apartment, I couldn't choose between one that's below the 10th floor and one that's above. I consulted a Daoist priest and he said, "Scientifically, bad air float under lever 9."
  • A long time ago a fortune teller told me I was a cow, so I'd better not date a horse. But my current bf/gf (not disclosed) happened to be a horse. So I went up a mountain and asked the Daoists there, and he said "Bullshit, we live under Socialism now, we believe in science."
  • Daoism tells you to follow your heart. For example, if I think you're annoying I will beat you up. If I have a thing against you I will kill you. If I don't do that then my Dao heart won't be stable.
  • Me: Sir, why are you so grumpy? Priest: Why do you think I practice Daoism in the first place??

This is not in the picture but I remember one a while ago:

  • Psychologist: He is gaslighting you; this is a toxic relationship; you have to leave!
  • Me: No no no he loves me I love him!
  • Daoist fortune teller: He will suck away your money fortune.
  • Me: Let's split up.

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