I got a question I want to ask you. If you are nonbinary but you’re dating a girl/guy; would that make you gay or straight? Because, from my limited understanding of the subject. To be gay/ lesbian, you would have to be attracted to the same sex. But if you don’t identify as either (or identify as both genders). Wouldn’t that mean you would be straight, or is a 50/50 depending on which gender you identify as at that moment? Also, would technically be gay if you dated someone who was also nonbinary?
P.S. not trying to be offensive, I’m just curious is all. But if you do take offense, please tell me, so I don’t accidentally offend you again.
it's all good, no worries! i'd guess you're hardly the first person who's been flipping this one over in their brain; gender is weird, after all! (to me, at least. in a good way!)
and honestly, i think it's up to one's own perspective. to me, any relationship i find myself in is going to be queer, because of how i find myself approaching it in relation to my own gender identity, and the roles taken up within said relationship.
being in a straight relationship entails more than just the gender/sexes of the people involved - there's often specific dynamics or roles that are assumed, consciously or subconsciously. you might think of specific traits each gender is expected to embody (ie, men should be "masculine"/women should be "feminine") as well as certain behaviors they enact towards each other. these things are typically portrayed as the "norm" in modern society.
it would be impossible for me to enter a straight relationship imho, because i will never fit or enact the specific roles involved.
i'm also not someone who tends to use or ascribe to specific labels, as i find them too restrictive. "queer" is my catchall term for what i am and what relationships with me might look like, and how the other person in this hypothetical relationship describes their experience is up to them!
thank you for the very interesting question, and sorry for my long-winded answer! i just really like talking about being queer! X3
