There are many things I could say about the dungeons and/or draggonne fifth edition game which I don't usually vent out in public because of a variety of factors, including but not limited to "some of my friends do play and enjoy it and they are friends that I do like and don't want to burden in this way until I have acclimated them to something better, a la bringing home fish in a plastic baggie and avoiding aquarium shock, because I like these friends" but there is one thing
one crime
one UNFORGIVABLE piece of game content, which even when I'm leaving personal mistreatment by the wayside, even when I'm taking subtext and game-history and structural themes as read, one thing I simply cannot forgive the current non-Mearls writers1 for no matter what, through any lens
and that is
WHY DO TORTLES LIVE FOR 30-50 YEARS, JEREMY. WHY. WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS. YOU CRIMINAL. WHY. THE FUCK. HAVE YOU DONE THIS. HOW DARE YOU, JEREMY. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, CRAWDAD. NO. I REFUSE.
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There are many more things that I cannot forgive the evil M&M for, and so he has been excised to lower the average lethality quotient of my experience.
