Okay, you meaty beauties - pull up a chair and bend your ear my way. I'm John Arby, King of Arby's, and I'd like to address a gap in our menu. I respect and value our vegetarian and vegan allies in the battle against the green things in this world - things that aid and give comfort to cows. Now, there are meat free alternatives for them to enjoy a burger, but not here at Arby's; that leaves the beef side up on players. So here at Arby's, we're introducing the Mega Beefer. The bun, the salad, the cheese, the sauce - it's beef all the way through. I'll be honest, it's actually just a cow. It comes in a damn big wrapper, though. I hope you've got dental insurance. I'm John Arby.
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