• she/her

30+-year-old queer plural autistic therian transbian, married to @Princess-Flufflebutt.


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ReAd mY bOoK


Avatar by me.


I've noted before that music hits my emotions directly, and sometimes makes me feel emotions that I don't feel in any other context. In other words, music can be like concentrated, encapsulated emotion for me.

This has made me nervous about sharing my music interests with others, because I know music doesn't usually work the same way with them--or if it does, I can't count on the emotions being the same. My instinct is to share a song with someone else for the sake of sharing the emotion I'm feeling along with the song, but since I can't count on that being the case, usually I feel like I'm only distancing myself.

So I've also often tried to figure out how to take the feelings I get from music and translate them into some other form of media, like a story or picture, but it's always obvious to me that either something gets lost in the translation from one media format to another, or added to it. Plus, it takes a lot of work to create an entirely new creative piece just to be able to share what was originally just a song I heard.

...But if I can make peace with the fact that it's not an experience I can share, the fact of the matter is still that I can get emotions from a song that I can translate into something else. And maybe that thing I create isn't really perfectly representative of what I was feeling, but it is nonetheless representative of me in some way, no matter what. And that's something worth sharing with others for different reasons.

It fits in with the kinda lessons I'm trying to internalize in myself through this blog, so let's try a sample of it. The above picture is what I was inspired to draw from listening to Twilight Gloom by ASparagus, created for the soundtrack of Pop'n Music 7.

Why is it what I picture when I listen to the song? I don't know. But the image is mine, at least a little different from what anyone else would've made. Why did I use that song as opposed to a different one? I also don't know, and that's also unique to me.

I'd like to use music to inspire other things in the future--maybe stuff other than drawings, but we'll see.


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