The succulents: oh hell yeah this windowsill that only gets hit with full sun for like an hour a day slaps
The snake plant: natural light is for pussies lol see just grew a new leaf haha
The ficus: sun? ew no gross put me under this shitty little desk lamp you got from Big Lots. I will accept no other light.
The succulents: hey kinda dry over here, no pressure man just whenever you get around to it
The snake plant: lol just get your water out of the shower steam like a man
The ficus: don't water me. don't water me. OMG WTF ARE YOU DOING WATER ME NOW NOW NOW. wtf don't pour water on me. draw me a bath.
The succulents: haha yeah just put me wherever, idc if there's a draft or anything
The snake plant: I fuckin love this bathroom with no windows and no natural light and maybe 3 hours a day of whatever I get off the fixtures
The F U C K I N G ficus: oh? you moved me a foot to the left for five minutes so you could dust? sweep up my leaves. peasant.
anyway the fucking ficus has finally stopped dropping leaves and started popping new ones out so I think it's happy now? Picky little shit.
