
hi! im Kai and i love plants
The succulents: oh hell yeah this windowsill that only gets hit with full sun for like an hour a day slaps
The snake plant: natural light is for pussies lol see just grew a new leaf haha
The ficus: sun? ew no gross put me under this shitty little desk lamp you got from Big Lots. I will accept no other light.
The succulents: hey kinda dry over here, no pressure man just whenever you get around to it
The snake plant: lol just get your water out of the shower steam like a man
The ficus: don't water me. don't water me. OMG WTF ARE YOU DOING WATER ME NOW NOW NOW. wtf don't pour water on me. draw me a bath.
The succulents: haha yeah just put me wherever, idc if there's a draft or anything
The snake plant: I fuckin love this bathroom with no windows and no natural light and maybe 3 hours a day of whatever I get off the fixtures
The F U C K I N G ficus: oh? you moved me a foot to the left for five minutes so you could dust? sweep up my leaves. peasant.
anyway the fucking ficus has finally stopped dropping leaves and started popping new ones out so I think it's happy now? Picky little shit.
… who keeps an eye out for travelers passing by her abode, looking to see if any are especially weary, or stressed, or generally suffering.
If they are, she takes them in for a little bit… First they wander into her garden, as if lead there, and then, taken by its beauty, they begin to feel strange… heavy, perhaps. The soil beneath their feet calling to them… bidding them to rest for a little while. It’s scary at first, when they notice their skin turning smooth and green, when they feel roots growing from them and either finding or forming gaps in their clothing so they can dig into the soil. But the gardener pays close attention to how they’re feeling, the network of roots throughout the garden transmitting the emotional state of the traveller directly to her.
The soil is so nutrient-rich, it usually takes no time at all for her guests to catch on to just how much they need this. Perhaps they sprout leaves or vines, or even flowers… each person ends up in a unique plant-like form. It’s always so much fun seeing how they turn out~. Sometimes they need it so bad they hardly look human at all, turning into full-on trees, their torn garments marking them as formerly human.
Whatever the case may be, the gardener takes good care of them, providing them with the water they need, and of course, top-quality land to take root in. She even provides company and conversation, if her guests are so inclined. And then, once the changes wear off (and after a quick stop by her house to get their clothing repaired via her magic), she lets them go without a hitch, feeling healthy and refreshed.
There are other cases too. Some people don’t need to be plants. Some people need to be little creatures instead, usually smallish mammals, and play around in her garden. Some people don’t wish to be changed at all, so she simply leaves them be. It’s pretty easy for her to tell very early into a transformation if someone isn’t going to enjoy it no matter what… she usually confronts these cases directly (after halting and reversing the changes, of course!) and asks how she can help them, though it makes her a little nervous to do so.
After a while, she starts getting repeat guests, in need of another seedy siesta. She’s always glad to have them, and slowly learns what forms they especially like to make their experiences extra special. Anyone who needs it can visit her at any time!