Vecderg

i love cohost.

i also loved cohost. i loved it from the moment i heard about it. yeah, I thought that the turn away from a patreon competitor was a dangerous move. maybe it was. but it was a move partially done to make sure that there was room for comradery, another project that was cool and good and ran by good people.

and i bring up that anecdote because i think it's so core to what cohost is and was: it was a place that respected other good places. it respected the user, it didn't try and get you to spend infinite hours on here. i loved how it was built to both look and feel different from other versions of social media. i loved how it had pagination, and how it had css and html availability for posts. i loved how the features were simple and confined.

i loved artist alley, even if i think it was too hidden away. i loved how cohost had things hidden away. it feels handmade, or community-made. it feels like a place that has a personality.

i love eggbug. i'll always love eggbug. i loved eggbug from the moment aidan showed them to me and i love them now. eggbug makes me emotional. they're a little guy with a big heart and a number of legs. and they're always looking forward and always smiling, always looking for the next thing that is worth looking at. eggbug is a spirit of positivity in a way that i find incredibly endearing. eggbug is a little baby who is always looking to grow up.

it's impossible for me to not think of eggbug when i think of cohost, and i love eggbug and i love cohost. i love the color scheme and the rounded edges, and the many little drawings that aidan did to make this site what it is. i love everything that jae and colin and kara did too, even if there were times when it felt like they were giving everything with so little in return.

it's impossible to put into words what thanks they are all due. i tried to do it with ever-increasing numbers of cohost subscriptions. i tried to put my money where my mouth was. they deserved so much more. they deserved so much more. this site deserved more, and it deserved better, and it deserved a more graceful response from its users, and it deserved a more quiet and long existence.

i think cohost deserved the world. i think its creators deserved the world, and i hope they never ever think of this project as a failure. i tell aidan this every chance i get: it was not a failure. it was a step. it was a good step. it was a good step that many people took with you, who believed in this thing, in this site and what it meant.

because that's the thing about making something, about facilitating a space like cohost did. it ultimately isn't up to you, the creators. you can do your best and you can try your hardest and the thing will still morph and change in ways you never expected. it will grow and seep into the cracks and it will wear you down.

and i have a million cracks in my heart to know that this site will no longer be one that i check every day. i have a million little tears with a bit of cohost in them. that will never not be the case. i haven't talked about it much because i think there is little to say other than expressions of grief, but i have been grieving. of course i have been grieving. that's part of the process.

but the heart grows, and its capacity for new love is endless. you will move on. we will move on. we will find new communities and we will deal with the terrifying world in new ways, with new people and with people who are new to you.

and we will always have these memories. we'll always have this place in our minds, and eggbug. we'll have eggbug and we'll have new places to show them, we'll have so many beautiful sunrises that we haven't seen yet, and eggbug will always be there with us, if you carry them with you.

eggbug is one of the most immediately successful mascots i have ever seen that isn’t just an anime girl of some kind. something about its simple shape and features make it very malleable, and its colour and expression are just very pleasant. but i think the key appeal is how its under‐engineered nature makes it feel that much more personable and less corporate. also bitches love eggs and bugs, so it stands to reason,

Ive noticed that even as this site is closing, the culture is different from other social media. On twitter, a lot of people were happy to see it go and happy to pull it down. They made fun of the monetary cost of twitter. Here, people are sad to lose this site. We are sad that money puts a price and a limit on life. We acknowledge its usefulness and power but do not accept it as a conscious authority. We are happy for the community, art, jokes, site design, and vision for the future. That last one I see reiterated a lot. Everybody says they'll take lessons as they leave this site. We will pass on giving people grace and kind, empathetic interpretation of their words. We will pass on being honest about our thoughts and our feelings without hiding from corporate and social systems.

As this site is closing, Im seeing art and genuine love and celebration of our shared experiences. Im seeing people trying new linux distros, going to new places, and exploring and living life Im still following people Ive never interacted with before, because the majority of people here have some baseline respect and kindness towards each other.

Im very glad I got to spend time on cohost. It helped me break away from using twitter and become more mindful and careful of my media diet in general. I've been critical of various aspects of large social media for years, but Cohost is what finally gave me a push to really seek out snaller stuff with intent.

Recently Ive started planning out reimplementing Discord's main features in Wordpress, cuz it's funny and really sorta cursed, but mainly because I want a space for my friends that isnt beholden the whims and rules of big corporations. I want a space that isnt afraid of nsfw content and doesn't depend on making a profit to function. I'll host, maintain, and run the server myself. It wont be as reliable as real discord, and it wont have all the features or the quality of features. It'll cost me immense time and effort and some money as well. But it'll be a great space for my friends.

I think the biggest lesson Ive learned on Cohost is:
We can make any kind of website we want if try.
We can make any kind of workd we want if we try.