which is home to the most unserious, goofy languages on the planet,
(You can't unironically tell me that you, personally, can take English seriously. You can't.)
I mean come on, definite and indefinite articles that work the exact same way? Cases expressed on said articles, rather than on the words themselves? Using the perfect aspect for the passive voice? Making comparisons by using not just a special form of an adjective, but adding a whole, separate, specific particle for that purpose too? Preposterous.