which is home to the most unserious, goofy languages on the planet,
(You can't unironically tell me that you, personally, can take English seriously. You can't.)
I mean come on, definite and indefinite articles that work the exact same way? Cases expressed on said articles, rather than on the words themselves? Using the perfect aspect for the passive voice? Making comparisons by using not just a special form of an adjective, but adding a whole, separate, specific particle for that purpose too? Preposterous.
English is a garbled mess of stolen words and cobbled together syntax, that's all well and fair, but I refuse to take shit from European languages either. German's lack of grasping the distal/proximal relationship and splitting verbs across long, wandering sentences is its own brand of derp. Language is a grubby mess of spirited belching, nobody's got an upper hand here.
everyone else: what do you call the things that fly in the sky?
The fucking French:
les o i s e a u x
everyone else: and how do you pronounce that...?
The fucking french, again: "wa•zo. putain."
at least some of their horrid orthography can be attributed to the actively bad decisions of specific people. English just emergently broke its entire orthography by doing The Great Vowel Shift immediately after deciding on how most words would be spelled.
I mean look, out here in Holland we had a similar thing going on (to the point where some of the changes our language went to actually directly mirror those of English) but we at least had the sense after WW2 to change our spelling so we wouldn't be doing shit like spelling "mens" as "mensch" even though nobody had been pronouncing the final /x/ for at least a century.
