I see a sentiment now and then:
"I want to belong here, but I never feel like I do."
And often I hear this out of the mouths of people who are loved by members of their community, who are eager to welcome them, and I wonder at the disconnect.
And I think I may have, at least to some small degree, figured it out.
We're so afraid of being where we're not wanted (or worse, of setting our things down only to be chased out at the first mistake) that we don't set down roots.
And without roots, one cannot belong anywhere.
A tree does not grow in soil that has tunnels conveniently-dug for its root system. It is planted in soft, pliant soil, in earth that will give way and make room for it as the sapling establishes its place.
And that's the balance. One does not belong until one has put down roots, claimed a space. It is not about finding a place where you do belong, but finding a place you could belong--finding that place with good soil and favorable rains and just the right amount of sun--and saying, "This could be my place. I will grow here. I will make it so."
