Talking about sexuality can feel very difficult sometimes. While talking to a friend the other day I realized that calling myself "gay" could, perhaps, make someone who's enby wonder if it includes them. Plus the fact that there have been times I've been attracted to a guy, rare as they are, yet I don't really like calling myself "bi." Or even "pan" as I don't really think that's true.
All of this is why I don't really like calling myself a lesbian as it feels too loaded and honestly, not completely true. I guess it's just easier to call myself gay which...might sound weird to some people, right? "You don't want to call yourself a lesbian but you call yourself gay? You're a woman, wouldn't that mean the same thing?" It's complicated, I guess. I can easily imagine a scenario where I call myself a lesbian, end up dating someone who's AMAB enby, and ending up with people being violently angry at me for calling myself a lesbian in the first place.
While some of you might be confused at such a scenario, others are nodding along as they read this and totally understand that fear. Anyway, it's a thought that's been on my mind for a long time. Sometimes it's just easier and simpler to say "I'm gay."
