what's new with you?
if at any point the colloquialism "no news is good news" comes up in this conversation i will try to take some comfort in knowing that i gave you an opportunity to perform the line you rehearsed.
how are things at work?
if you ask me this question you should be legally required to pay me since you're basically forcing me to clock back in.
how about that weather?
i actually do have a political investment in this question, but anything i have to say other than "haha yeah" will just bum everybody out, including me.
you lost a lot of weight in 2015!
if you point this out to me more than twice i will just think you've been silently judging me for decades. for your sake, i hope you learn how to move on.
do you still go birding? have you seen any good ones lately?
you have activated my trap card and if i get the sense that you are less than 70% invested in my four paragraph answer (you DID ask the question after all), i will categorize you as one of the people i know i need to mask around.
