johnnemann
@johnnemann

[INT. The office building of a generic mid-level bureaucratic company, unimportant in the grand scheme]

A nebbish, junior office WORKER (Jones) knocks and hesitantly enters the office of his BOSS (Chapman). BOSS is comfortably seated on one side of a desk, WORKER remains standing.

BOSS: Yes? Well, what is it?

WORKER: Uh, you asked me to look into the supply problems with the Bertman account.

BOSS: Ah yes. Mind, I don't want any superficial, easy-to-spot solutions. I hope you've really gotten to the root of the thing.

WORKER: I think so, yes, sir. I know it took a little longer but I think I've found the real problem.

BOSS: And? Out with it, man.

WORKER: Capitalism.

BOSS: Capitalism?

WORKER: Yes. The economic system under which we're all labouring is the cause of the problems with the Bertman account, and, frankly, most of the other problems the company has, according to my research.

BOSS: Capitalism... Well, let's have a look at that report.

[BOSS skims through document]

BOSS: My Lord. That really is the cause of a lot of things, isn't it? Well. Do you have a proposal for fixing the issue?

WORKER: Yes, sir. We will need to overthrow the existing economic order and impose either a central, planned economy with the means of production owned in common by all, or at least devolving the surplus product of our labour to the workers.

BOSS: By Jove. I see. That sounds like quite a lot. How long do you estimate this project will take?

WORKER: Yes sir. I think we can get it done in... Six weeks, sir.

BOSS: Six weeks!

WORKER: Or two months at the outside, sir.

BOSS: Well, carry on then, let's see how this goes.

[CUT TO: Stock footage of rallies, marching parades, etc, as in the background a chorus sings The Internationale]

INT. Office again, WORKER and BOSS are both now dressed as COMMUNISTS, both now stand side by side consulting papers on a desk.

BOSS: Well. It certainly appears the supply problems with the Bertman account are gone for good, as is the global exploitation of the working class. Good work, comrade.

WORKER: Thank you, comrade.

[BOTH begin singing The Internationale, arms linked]

FADE


Linker
@Linker
Linker, ft. The Internationale - Office Sketch
Office Sketch
Linker, ft. The Internationale
00:00

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in reply to @johnnemann's post:

Goes to show how well you did, I 100% believed it (though maybe that's not saying much, I could just be gullible). I was a little surprised that you appeared to have such a clear memory of the exact wording.
Makes more sense now lol

"or two months at the outside, sir" you've nailed the comedy writing i loved the show for so much oh man

BOSS: Right, next matter, onto profit forecasts-
WORKER: Well, about that sir...
(whispers into his ear, a dawning look of horror casting on the boss' face)
BOSS: My god, man! I asked you to fix our problem, not take us out of it altogether. We're supposed to be winning!
WORKER: W-winning, sir?
BOSS: Yes! That Bertman account was important, there was a win around the corner, but in getting rid of this... what was it aga-
WORKER: ... you mean capitalis-
BOSS: Yes, yes, but you went and fixed all the other problems our business solved went with it! We're ruined! Losers! Failures! So tell me, ruined loser failure, what do we do now?
WORKER: We... I suppose we don't work as much?
BOSS: ...huh.
WORKER: I...
BOSS: ...that... doesn't sound so bad actually. Maybe you're right after al-
WORKER: No, I changed my mind. We need capitalism.
BOSS: bewildered My god man I can't decide whether to bomb or invade you! What's changed your mind now?
WORKER: I just had so much... purpose before! When I was changing out the office, seizing the means, learning Russian.
BOSS: Was any of that useful?
WORKER: Nyet.
BOSS: No idea what that means, but so long as we're on a same page. Fine, all of this offered up a valuable lesson: communism isn't profitable. Let's get back to... the other one.
WORKER: Capitali-
BOSS: Yes, that one! How long do you think to undo the... pointing to flags?
WORKER: Well, we may have to scrap the Bertman account, but I think in six weeks we should be right back to it!
BOSS: Remarkable! I tell you, you're worth every pence the state and/or I pay you.