• She/Her

18+ Only.
30 year old Transgirl furry anarchist who doesn't know what to do in life.
Dragonuki (Dragon-Tanuki) therian. ΘΔ
Equipment Supply Liason at CESA
(I transform into things people need)
Lots of dragon and yinglet sharing, plus some NSFW.
Plural but my headmate, Nidea, is shy so don't expect to see her much.
In a closed poly relationship.
name-color: #9320DC
A pink chocobo next to the words "Chocobo Ranch"


AshenveinGate
@AshenveinGate

D&D + Pathfinder's take on the Abyss is a realm of endless conflict ruled by shadowy powers who honor no pact, forcing all beneath them to scrabble endlessly for minute advantages which are wiped away the next time the realm shifts--so, life under capitalism, but at least you get demon powers.

Glibness aside, even before I realized my own demonhood, these depictions resonated with me far more than all the adventurers from bucolic villages, pristine temples, and bustling towns. I've only recently come to know what it's like to be part of a community that looks after its own, and even then, I mostly exist on the fringes--benefiting secondhand through the help such communities give to one of my partners. I don't know what it is to grow up with a parent or guardian who guides me yet gives me room to be who I truly am--cinders, I don't even know what it is to live in the same town until I'm finished growing.

Realms where things are as they should be, where people say what they mean clear and bold, where effort and perseverance are always rewarded... I don't know what it's like to live in a place like that.

Tumult and instability, joys allowed grudgingly only to be ripped away for the same infractions that became mere lighthearted fun if someone else performed them. A dance of masks in a labyrinth-court of figures who I might persuade to help me, but only a little, and only at risk of revealing too much about myself in the doing. Misdirection and manipulation from beings I trusted because I had no choice, weaving tangles in my psyche that take years, even decades to unravel. Lonely sojourns through darkest night across wasted plains, jagged pathways of dusty rock and crumbling towers. Sudden clashes with half-seen figures, violence done because violence is the only thing we still believe in...

These things are real to me. No joy can reach me when it's rooted in a reality whose framing screams that it isn't for me, that souls as ragged and jaded as I don't belong there. As much as I find those pop-culture caricatures of the Abyss and of demonkind simplistic, boxed in, and frequently demeaning, they still make me feel more at home than portraits of joy, belonging, and nurturing I have never known.


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