thinking about this again, given conversations with certain critters earlier
how being aro interacts with FOMO, introversion and anxiety, and how the lives we expose online is only part of the story
to some extent, having a largely US based friend group means that with effectively a 9-5 work schedule, missing out something is mandatory, even before factoring in group splits. i've had to become very OK with that over the past while
but i also can't shake the sense of being a permanent third wheel; tolerated but nothing more. the little whispers from some deep dark corner of the mind that all we're good for is donations - despite these statements being objectively false, it doesn't stop their intrusion
i worry that our "speak when you're spoken to" nature is going to keep causing rifts with critters we love, rifts that we're too blind to notice. and for the ones we may get chance to meet IRL, that we'll be too anxious to ask about what we'd like to do
i'm hoping laying this out provides some comfort to the critters who were struggling. i don't like pretending we've got our shit together more than we do, but it's easy for that to happen with social media often focusing on the good.
we are all works in progress.
Don’t really have words for this, Dex, other than… god you’ve hit feelings I’ve sometimes had too right on the head. It sucks, because it’s objectively not true, but that little voice in one’s head can be so compelling at our worst, when things are bad enough to make it louder than it had been before.
I don’t have any answers or wisdom but… you’re not alone. And I appreciate the hell outta you, for what limited interaction we’ve had as friends 💖
