This page is an attempt at letting overshadowed parts of myself surface, helping them blossom by talking about them.
I'm starting 2024 with my big sibling by watching our little sibling discover Outer Wild for their first time. I'm really happy I get to be here to witness it. Those kind of moments are gonna age to become precious memories. I think this years is off to a great start.
I feel like this is the kind of things gabro was referring to when talking about taking time to stop and smell the pine trees along the way, you know?
I haven't been here in a minute, there a lot of things I've been writing, and I just never got around to posting them. I really want to try to become more spontaneous when it come to posting on co-host, but also when interacting with other people online in general.
That half of the reason why I'm making this post: just because I feel like it, and I more often need to consider that enough of a reason to commit to something.
Happy new years everyone :)
I really want to play the rest of Outer Wilds' DLC, but never as fear been so inhibiting in a video game for me before, I'm struggling to overcome it. Even outside of the game, just thinking about it terrifies me.
Fear of the unknown is the one I'm most sensitive to. I can feel it's frozen claws and fangs tear deep into my boiling flesh, I can sense it's chilling chaos spreading throughout my racing mind.
I can hear it's silent screams, I can see it's absence all around me. The more I try to keep it at bay and discern it's shape the more I feel submerge by it, drowning in the palm of it's hand. Fear feeds on itself.
Despite everything, I've finally manage to finish Outer Wilds' DLC tonight, it was insanely good. It definitely crystalized it's place as one of the best piece of art I've ever been able to experience, OW is a masterpiece from its beginning to it's very end.
There so much I'd like to say about it, i'm a bit overwhelmed. I feel... A bit too much for tonight honestly, I don't think 5am is a good time to try and process it all, sleep first.
Though, here's my first impressions, I want to share them, I don't think I'll be able to sleep if I don't. I'll keep it short for now:
I've learn so much from OW, I still have a lot to learn from it. I struggle to realize yet to which amplitude this game has/is fondamentally changed/ind my perception of life, the end of it and the universe. I'm happy I got to experience something that could make me feel such powerful polar opposite emotions at the same time, never I've I been so terrified and fascinated before in all my life. This was an unique, sometime nerve-wracking, and infinitely beautiful game. I am so grateful. Thanks to everyone that worked on it so so much!
I'm never going to stop thinking about Outer Wilds, ever.
For the past few years, I've been avoiding stepping outside of my house except for when it's a necessity. Tonight I have a pretty late schedule appointment; Once over, I'll have to go back home during nighttime.
Usually I would go straight back to where I live, but now that said appointment is over, I'm weirdly not doing so.
I've been looking at close shops and dark alleys for 20 minutes. It doesn't really feel good, but definitely not bad either. I'm rediscovering the fact that I can be outside not only because I'm obligated to be so, without it being only walking from point A to B.
It feel weird, really weird, everything as felt weird for the past few days.
But I'm somewhat okay, the air feel cold and the world is moving around me, I had forgotten what it felt like.
I'm going home now.