• She/They

Lesbian/Trans/Demi/Witch/32

Home of the mad ravings of an anti-capitalist living in a capitalistic society. May occasionally post about Discworld, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic: the Gathering, and Nerf blasters.

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ysabellweatherwax

dizzy-h-slightly-voided
@dizzy-h-slightly-voided

The ultimate irony of the Auditors of Reality, who hate all forms of life because it makes the universe too unpredictable, is that the universe where they exist runs on narrative causality as an actual physical law. (Indeed, several of the Discworld books feature characters who know these laws well enough to exploit them to their own advanage!)

Their universe does, in fact, follow an immutable immaculate order, that which comes from any story with a linear plot and the traditional beginning, middle, and end. This is, if anything, more orderly than the Auditors' desired hypothetical empty universe "where things spun and rocks fell"! And yet they cannot understand humanity and all its abstract concepts, they think of everything in terms of atoms and molecules and chemical reactions, and beauty as a concept entirely escapes them. The Story is incomprehensible to the Auditors, because they couldn't plot their way out of a wet paper bag. They will never succeed in their goal of destroying all life, because they are the villains of the story, and the laws of narrative causality state that the villains are always defeated in the end.

And even if they did succeed, they too would cease to exist, because on a meta level, there could be no more stories told in that universe! After all, "things spun and rocks fell and the Auditors observed it" is not what makes a Discworld book. Nothing will come of nothing, and no story will come from no-story. Is it not written, "that sort of thing doesn't happen around here"? They simply cannot win, no matter what they do.


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