• She/They

Lesbian/Trans/Demi/Witch/32

Home of the mad ravings of an anti-capitalist living in a capitalistic society. May occasionally post about Discworld, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic: the Gathering, and Nerf blasters.

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ysabellweatherwax

posts from @YsabellWeatherwax tagged #Esmeralda Weatherwax

also:

estrogen-and-spite
@estrogen-and-spite

I'll go first:

So I originally was going to go with Sara. I've always vibed with the name, I used it in video games for my characters constantly, and it just felt right. Also for Sara Kerrigan who's "I'm queen bitch of the universe" line was probably my first experience of gender envy. The problem is at this point Sara had become a character in what was my most popular series at the time so it felt weird naming myself after a character I only retroactively realized was a self-insert of my gender needs.

I next was going to go with Jessica, for Jessica Drew from Marvel - specifically the Ultimate version of the comics. While the Ultimate comic line is largely remembered for being mostly bad and had the one redeeming quality of introducing us to Miles Morales (which 100% is the best thing to come from the Ultimate universe), it also gave us Jessica Drew of Earth 1620 - a clone of Peter Parker who just had the Y chromosome replaced with an X, and also had all of Peter's memories. The character was incredibly trans coded and fascinated me long before I figured out I was trans...but one of my closest friends is Jessica and so it felt weird.

So then I was going to with Rachel for Rachel Summers from the X-Men as well as to give myself a name that tied me to my Jewish origins but then someone asked "Can I call your Rach?" and the sound of that shortening was so very much not a vibe that I dropped the name entirely.

Then I remembered Sylvia. Sylvia Dawngard was a character of mine in a long running FATE game I was playing with friends at the time. While not my first TTRPG character to be a woman - that was a Sara - Sylvia was the one that gave me gender euphoria. A changeling in a world were that meant "Human who got abducted by fae and was raised by them," Sylvia was the champion of the long forgotten Autumn Court of fae and over the course of the game came to weild the Eclipse Hammer (which I now have tattooed on my arm) and just was one of my favorite characters I've ever played. She also was constantly torn between her fae upbringing and human nature, not feeling like she fully belonged in either world, which only changed when she met her Nephilim girlfriend Kohabiel and together they formed a new home and... yeah, I loved that character.

Equally importantly there's no shortening of that name I dislike. Syl, Sylvie, Vee, Via, Lyv, Sylv, basically any version of the name worked perfectly for me.

So yeah, that's my story. What's yours?


YsabellWeatherwax
@YsabellWeatherwax

For a while I was toying with using one of a couple of MtG planeswalker's names (Kiora, which is now my blahaj's name, Narset, or Kasmina) but none of them really felt right, just seemed cool.

Then, a couple years ago, while I was out camping with my family, I was sitting in a camping chair reading The Light Fantastic, and I got to the part where Rincewind and Twoflower entered into Death's domain. There, they met Death's adopted daughter, and when she mentioned her name, it immediately clicked and felt right. Ysabell. Something about the spelling just felt so perfect for me. Ended up being a case of "when you see it, you will know" for me. Sadly, I didn't vibe too much with the character herself, but ciet la vie.

As for the Weatherwax, that is also from the Discworld series and is from a character that really does mean the world to me. Esmeralda "Esme" "Granny" Weatherwax is a witch that is a massive inspiration for who and what I aspire to be. She absolutely knows who and what she is (which gets tested to its fullest at one point) and fully understands the importance of the fact that it is infinitely more important to be a good, helpful, and caring person than it is to just be a nice person ("Esme Weatherwax hadn't done nice. She'd done what was needed."). Sure, she absolutely is the most powerful witch on the entire disc, but she understands that using magic to fix all of your issues is a recipe for disaster. She knows that the best way to fix issues is almost always through hard work and perseverance, but when shit hits the fan, absolutely will wield witchcraft to its fullest, though she generally tries to use her own form of witchcraft which she calls "headology". The end of her character arc was also absolutely perfect for her and really beautiful. I am, slowly, trying my best to embody Granny in my day to day life. It has been a difficult process for me, as I've had a lot of baggage to work through, but when I also meet Death at the end of my life I also hope to be told that I have left the world much better than I found it.