Alex Zandra

(continued from Part XVIII | Act I | Act II | Part XX)

Lou took a deep breath, then walked through the door.

At least, that had been her intention; however, she veered away at the very last second, instead taking refuge by the open shelves of the changing room. Her forehead resting against the wood, she stared down at the clothes that she'd taken off earlier. All neatly folded into one of the free compartments, just like everyone else's. Perhaps a little neater, even. She exhaled shakily, tugging at the knot in the towel she'd wrapped around her body.

This had been her third attempt.

She could hear the voices on the other side. Chatting and laughter, interspersed with the occasional splashing as someone entered or exited the water. Lou wanted nothing more than to go unnoticed; to blend in, and act like this was the most normal thing in the world. To not make waves, no matter what. But so far this was proving to be more challenging than her toughest battles had ever been. At least foes and monsters could be sent running, or cut down. But she couldn't fight her way out of this. She had no weapons to speak of, and only a thin sheet of cloth for armor.

She chided herself for relying so much on her eyes all these years. A proper wolf had more senses than that. Maybe she could approach slowly; let the steam fog up her glasses, and limit her visibility just enough to let her move about without inadvertently seeing anything she shouldn't. That could work. All she'd have to do after that is find a quiet corner of the bath chamber, and settle in. Somewhere she could be present, but undisturbed.

She was mentally preparing herself for attempt number four when she heard the pitter-pat of bare feet on stone approaching behind her.

"Are you okay there Glasses?" Chiffon asked, wearing nothing but a towel, a bonnet and a smile. Out of her three bunkmates, she was always the first one to check in on her. Lou had long since learned there was little point in trying to hide her feelings from the former theater troupe member.

"Mm." Lou nodded. She wasn't in any danger. She just needed to get over her silly apprehensions already.

"The heat's not getting to you, I hope?"

"Mm-mh." Lou shook her head.

"I'm glad! I'll see you inside, then!" And with that, Chiffon headed for the door to the baths.

Lou took another deep breath, returning to her mental preparations. She could do this. She'd start walking, and everything else would follow. She just needed to take that first step already! Why couldn't—

"You want to do this, right?"

"Wh... what?" Lou looked up from her little nook of solitude. Chiffon had stopped halfway to the door.

"I just want to make sure! You look like you're having a hard time. You do want to go in, right?"

Lou stared blankly at her, trying to figure out the meaning of her question. "It's... a special day, right? They... they never open up the royal baths to the staff." She took a shaky breath, unsure why her heart was suddenly beating so fast. "It's an honor, a privilege. A gift. It'd be rude of me to say no." Her voice cracked and dwindled down to a whisper as she spoke, the words coming with feelings attached that she hadn't been at all prepared for.

"Oh, Lou," Chiffon said as she walked up to her. She gently reached out and took one of her hands into hers. "You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to, right?"

Lou looked up at her. She opened her mouth to reply, but no sound came out.

"It's your body!" Chiffon said with her kindest smile. "You can do what you want with it. And that means you don't have to let anyone else tell you what that is."

Lou took a step forward, then another, overcome with emotion. She didn't know. She didn't know what she wanted to do. Being asked to decide was so much scarier than being told the answer, regardless of what it was.

Before she knew it she was in Chiffon's arms, the two of them rocking side to side. The sound of Chiffon's melodic humming drowned out Lou's hushed cries, today like many other days.

"There's no wrong decision here," Chiffon said between little reassuring squeezes, "as long as it's yours."

Lou held on tight, her face tucked just under Chiffon's chin. "I miss you," she said between sobs that were all heat and no tears. "I miss you so much already."

"It's okay," Chiffon said as she rubbed her cheek against Lou's hair. "You're gonna be okay."

Lou opened her eyes with a start.

She reached up to wipe away tears that weren't there; looked around, expecting stone walls, a canopy, or the underside of the bunk above her—but finding only colorful patchwork across a circular canvas roof. She sat up reflexively, turning to get out of bed only to stop herself mid-motion. She'd almost stumbled over the person lying down next to her, still fast asleep.

She took in her surroundings as the dreamlike fog faded from her mind and reality caught back up to her. She was with the Shepherd's Troupe, not at the castle. She looked down at her closed hand, counting finger by finger. Five days. She hadn't been at the castle for five days now. It felt like a year, and it felt like no time at all.

She let her heartbeat settle back down to normal as she looked down at the man sleeping on the cot next to hers. Jehan, one of her new tentmates. Though technically Lou was the new tentmate, as the day cook and the night cook had graciously made some room for her in their home, temporary as it was.

She looked down at him. Shouldn't he be getting ready to prepare breakfast right about now? Back at the castle, cooks would already be done preparing the kitchen for the day. Maybe she ought to wake him up, and spare him the ire of hungry actors. As she pondered this, Jehan suddenly rolled onto his back, running a tan hand through his short black hair. He scratched at the stubble above his lip. Opened his mouth, as if to speak. And then began snoring.

Lou exhaled, slightly disappointed the choice hadn't been made for her.

She gave it another thought. What if he normally got up later, and she'd only be ruining his sleep by waking him now? She couldn't do that to a troupe member, not on her first official day. She was still only here tentatively, wasn't she? She needed people on her side if she was going to stay for the long term. This was her one shot. Besides, she owed it to Chiffon—

She paused. Thought back to the dream that had all but vanished from her mind moments ago, but was now clear as day. She did want to stay here, right? The whole time during yesterday's trip here, her focus had been solely on what to do to get accepted. And she had. Now, on this quiet morning, she had time to think it through. She had time to ask herself what she wanted. Was she ready for the answer?

— end of preview

...read the rest of this chapter on my Patreon!

all chapters FREE for EVERYONE to read on Patreon after 7 days,
available by clicking the link above
☆ don't want to wait? become a patron to read the new chapter right now! ☆

(continued from Part XVII | Act I | Act II | Part XIX)

"We need to talk," she told him.

Lou leaned on the armored knight's halberd like it was a handrail, her eyes focused on the Prince; the rest of her body focused on catching her breath. Her lungs struggled against the constricting fabric of the princess's coronation dress, faithfully recreated for the stage. She had overcome the obstacles in her way and made it up to the royal theater's exterior balcony, where the Prince had retreated after the show. She had caught him. Now what?

Already the stagehands and the chorus had taken their bows; she only had precious moments before the actors who had played the minor characters would walk onto the stage, to the acclaim of the crowd. The instant she heard that telltale third wave of cheering, she'd have to make a mad dash down the stairs in order to be back in time to take that final bow alongside the other major actors. She wasn't going to miss it. Not even for him.

Breathe in. Breathe out. The silence that hung in the air after she had said those few words only lasted seconds, but the tension was palpable. Lou and the Prince, gazes locked. The robed figure, pouring out powder in a circle around the tent she'd set up. The armored knight, barring entry from the balcony. Sleeves, staring at Lou, their eyes getting wider and wider.

"Hold on," Sleeves said to the Prince, "what did you just call her?"

"Loulou, you should be down there on the stage," the Prince said, paying his companion no mind. "You didn't have to come here—"

"You didn't have to come here!" she yelled back, nearly vaulting over the halberd blocking her path. She put a hand on the armored knight's breastplate, as if to push the towering figure aside. "Move," she said between breaths.

The knight reacted instantly, grabbing her offending hand by the wrist. Lou didn't turn to look. She twisted to the side, leveraging her body weight against the figure's thumb to wrest herself free. A moment later she had ducked under the polearm and was standing in front of the Prince; legs trembling, lungs fighting for oxygen, eyes still locked onto his.

The armored figure looked down, stunned, then reached out after her. "Now hold—"

"Okay time out, time out!" Sleeves said as they approached Lou and the Prince with a card held high, as if playing the part of a tournament referee. "Hold on, I need to process this." They turned to Lou. "Glasses. Glasses, are you telling me that the whole time, the whole time, from day one, you were..." Their eyes focused through her, on a point somewhere off in the distance, their face going through a rapid series of realizations.

"Why are you here? I thought you said it was dangerous to be close to you!" Lou said before taking another deep breath, keeping her eyes on the Prince. She didn't want to have that conversation with Sleeves right now; besides, there was so little time. She kept her ears open for the next surge of cheers and applause, but the audience—far away as it was, several floors below—sounded strangely muffled.

"Loulou," the Prince said in a measured tone, "it's an immensely popular stage play about me. Of course I'd try to catch the last show. No one will find that out of the ordinary."

Sleeves stared at the Prince. "You told us the captain was dead. I didn't misunderstand, did I? There was a funeral! We all mourned! And the whole time, she was sleeping in the bunk next to mine in the undercroft?! When she wasn't sleeping in—" Their expression went strangely blank for one second before they pinched the bridge of their nose with their free hand. "No. I'm not thinking about that. I'm not..." Sleeves's eyes shot open. "You didn't just fire a maid. You exiled the wolf."

"Not exiled, protected." The Prince's expression grew colder, but his eyes remained on Lou. "If anyone still holding the keys to the ritual knew my old body was alive, they'd stop at nothing to get their hands on it. Their eyes are on the castle. On me, and anyone close."

"It's my body now," Lou said possessively; protectively. She crossed her arms and held herself tight. "You said I could do anything I wanted with it." She took another deep breath. "So I did."

"Loulou, I didn't say it would get them anywhere," the Prince replied. "But they'll do everything they can to keep their share of the crown. At least, the remaining eight will. I had to keep you out of their sight."

Lou was still shaking, except now it was no longer from the physical exertion. She was teetering on the edge between anger and sadness; rage and tears. Every time she opened her mouth it was down to a coin toss which way her words would go.

She had caught her breath at last, but something was off; her movements felt oddly sluggish. The robed figure behind the Prince hadn't moved from her spot, still pouring out powder from a pouch—the grains fluttering in the air, each one spinning in place, getting no closer to the ground. Everything around them had slowed to a crawl.

A chill went up her spine. Lou had felt this before.

But... this time was different. An imitation; a different means with which to achieve the same results. There was no impending doom, only quietude. She had been afforded movement and thought and speech in this temporary retreat, unlike before. Instead of lasting a split-second, the moment stretched out far longer than she imagined possible. It was then that she noticed the card that Sleeves had been holding up—The Hourglass—was burning up, like the end of a letter held above a candle. Nearly a quarter of it had already turned to ashes.

Their eyes met briefly. The look on Sleeves's face was the rarest of them all, one that Lou had only seen once: in the servant's quarters, the morning she had said her goodbyes.

Lou locked gazes with the Prince once more. She knew the words she wanted to say, but getting them out felt like pushing a boulder up a hill. "You didn't answer my question," she said in a shaky voice. "If being close to you is dangerous, then why are you here?"

The Prince's eyebrows went up ever so slightly, the way they always did when he was about to explain to her something he felt she should already know. Even if the Prince had never said as much out loud, Lou had learned a long time ago what that look meant. "I kept my distance, Loulou. I arrived after the lights dimmed, left with the darkness. No one recognized me. I'm surprised you did, to be honest. You chasing me up here is far more risk—"

"STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT!" Lou shouted, causing him to recoil in surprise. Her fist had stopped just short of hitting his chest.

For a moment, it seemed like time had stopped here as well.

Lou slowly drew her hand back, exceedingly aware of the wide-eyed look on both Sleeves and the Prince's faces. But that was fine; good, in fact. She hadn't chased him all the way up here to be nice. She hadn't caught him just to let him go without a fight. She hadn't visualized this conversation in her mind for months and months simply to let him wriggle his way out of answering her damn question. Not tonight.

"Why are you here?" she repeated, her heart threatening to beat its way out of her body.

The Prince looked at her for a moment, still on the back foot, before collecting himself. That subtle look of defeat from earlier had returned to his face. "Alright, Loulou. Alright," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

— end of preview

...read the rest of this chapter on my Patreon!

all chapters FREE for EVERYONE to read on Patreon after 7 days,
available by clicking the link above
☆ don't want to wait? become a patron to read the new chapter right now! ☆

(continued from Part XVI | Act I | Act II | Part XVIII)

"Those townsfolk were a friendly bunch," Soixante-Douze said. "I'd quite like to come back here on leave for that cheese festival."

"Mm," Lou replied, pensively. "They let you have a lot of that?"

"Oh, just the same as anyone else. I haven't used mine in a while. Have to put on a stoic front, you know. Make a good impression."

"That only gets you so far," she said. She had experienced firsthand—twice, even—how pushing yourself as far as you could go and doing everything the way others expected you to could still end in heartbreak. Looking at her past lives now, every one had left her with regrets, despite her best efforts. Efforts that had only gotten her a slightly warmer pat on the back as she was pushed out the door. "You should find the things that make you happy while you can."

"Oh don't get me wrong, I am! I've made my share of friends among the guard so far. One of the maids comes around every few nights to play cards, too. They're a right menace!"

"Hrm. Careful with them, they play dirty."

"Is that so? Hasn't happened yet, but I'll stay on my guard, sir!"

Lou walked down the well-trod path leading to the town's fairgrounds. It had been about a year since she'd been out of the city, but at this point it felt like a lifetime ago. This wasn't even that far, considering; literally the first town out the gate, just a short trip east. Far enough from the capital to be its own settlement, large enough to have its own fairgrounds, busy enough to have it see use almost year-round. And this month, the Shepherd's Troupe was taking it over.

There were a number of traveling theater companies within the Crown's reach and protection. But the Shepherd's Troupe was special, a fact that slowly dawned on Lou as she approached the stage that had been set up on the field. This was not just a handful of people piling their lives into a wagon, this was practically a traveling village. It extended above and beyond the stage and the fairgrounds, stretching out to the edge of the nearby woods. A gigantic tent surrounded by smaller ones, all weathered and repaired to the point of being made up of more colorful patches than canvas. A settlement in and of itself that would probably be packed up and moving when the next month came around.

How would they fit everything into the wagons that Lou could see lined up here and scattered there? How would a group this large coordinate such a massive undertaking, just to make it to the next settlement on their list and repeat it all over again? Lou was determined to find out firsthand. She reached into the leather bag at her side, making sure Chiffon's introduction letter was still firmly inside it. Her ticket into this place, if everything went well. If not...

"Quite a sight, ain't it sir? I mean, uh, ma'am?" Soix said as they walked up alongside her, handling themself quite well considering their current state. A large cloak despite the heat, an overfull portmanteau in each hand, and a large square slab of tarps and ropes that played the part of the world's biggest knapsack. It was a wonder they were even moving, but the decorated member of the royal guard seemed to take it in stride. "Apologies, s—ma'am. I know you're going incognito here."

"You didn't have to put on that cloak, you know."

"Please, ma'am! A lone woman with a single royal guard escort, out by themselves? I'm to think of your safety, first and foremost. Wouldn't want to attract any undue attention with the ol' blue-and-gold."

"Mm. They are pretty colors."

"Royal tradition for a reason!"

Lou turned her attention to the dirt path down at her feet, feeling a faint twinge deep in her chest. "You also didn't have to carry my things this far. You're doing more than you're supposed to."

"Now ma'am, Sir Frederic briefed me for this. 'The captain will bear any burden, carry out any duty, fulfill any commitment to the end, if you let her.' I swore on my honor I wouldn't allow you to push yourself too hard."

"He... he said that?" Lou asked, slowing down a bit.

"He did. Several times. Besides, you're here to meet the theater folks, right? Wouldn't be proper to show up there all sweatin' and shoulder-hurting."

"Mm," Lou replied, absent-mindedly. Part of her was back at the gatehouse again.

The path took the two of them along the edge of the fairgrounds. They passed the stage, currently not in use as the Troupe had just settled in for their upcoming shows. That hadn't stopped some kids from using it as a makeshift playground for their own make-believe, boisterously yelling and posturing as a teenager stood by and watched, a bow at her side. Lou could tell she knew how to use it from the little telltale signs: how firmly she held the weapon, the way she wore her quiver, the number and weight of the arrows placed in it. She was training to be a hunter, and her teacher was someone of respectable skill.

Still, it warmed Lou's heart to see children enjoying themselves like this. She had originally thought the small group were from the town nearby, but it suddenly hit her that these were probably Shepherd's Troupe kids. The castle was a place for workers, not families, and so she had assumed every other place was the same. She idly wondered what else might be different as she and her escort made their way further down the path, toward the tents.

"Strange that the big tent is behind the stage instead of around it though, innit?" Soix wondered aloud. "You think they've got a separate one for that?" They waited a moment, leaving Lou the chance to reply, then continued. "If you don't mind my asking, ma'am, what will you do if this doesn't work out? I'm happy to take you to the next place on your list, even wait around a few days just to be sure. Sir Frederic was clear on this as well: I'm not to come back until you're safe and sound at your destination. Wherever that ends up being."

Soix waited another moment; a longer one this time, leaving Lou ample time to reply. But, silence. "Besides, with weather like this, we can contin—"

"There's no next place," Lou finally said. "No next step. This is it." The crushing, twisting feeling deep in her chest was back, in full force this time. She would meet whoever was in charge, hand them Chiffon's letter, make her case, and then... Then she would stay here, no matter what. She would sacrifice what she had to, peel away however much of herself to satisfy the demands of the person on the other side of the negotiation. Chiffon had stuck her neck out for her. She wouldn't let her down.

It was a technique that had worked for her before, this singular dedication to one outcome at the expense of all else, even herself. It was how she'd climbed the ranks, how she'd kept the Prince safe all these years. Whenever adversity came her way like a blade, she'd become the stone that blunted its edge, that broke off its tip, that ground the rest of it to dust.

But that had only worked back when she was the captain, the bodyguard, the Wolf of the White Woods. A living monument, impervious to harm. She was no longer made of stone, or even wood. Only once since, in the gatehouse, had she tried to use this technique, and it had cost her dearly. But she simply knew of no other tricks, and did not have the time to learn a new one. She had no other option but to grab the blade with both hands.

It was that or go somewhere else. She supposed she could go home, but what would await her there? A village that wouldn't recognize her? A landscape she'd have to spend years acclimating to all over again? She could pick another town, another city, but none of them stood out in her memory; none of them gave her hope of anything other than solitude and stagnation. No. Better to put her every effort into this place, a place that one of the few people she trusted had put her faith in. She had nothing else left to try.

Lou kept putting one foot in front of the other. Somewhere among those tents would be the person in charge. Her ticket into the Troupe, whatever that entailed. At the very least, it would be a good place to pass the time until—

Bark! Bark!

Both she and Soix turned to see a very shaggy brown sheepdog run up to them, barking excitedly as it wagged its tail.

"Hey there," Lou said, reaching out with a hand despite the size of the dog. "What are you—oh!" She stepped back as it bounced to and fro noisily, running around and between the two of them, the curly tip of its tail snagging briefly in the hem of Soix's cloak. The animal enthusiastically spurred Lou down the path, ignoring her companion.

"Friendly sort, innit?" Soix said, looking around. "Do you suppose it's one of the troupe's? I wasn't aware they kept a herd. Or maybe it's for protection?" They began to follow, only to be loudly rebuked by the dog. "Augh! Right!" they added, stepping back.

The animal turned around, undeterred, continuing its back-and-forth dance as it barked merrily after Lou. "This way?" she asked, smiling in spite of herself. "Okay, okay!" she added, hurrying along toward the cluster of large tents as it prompted her further. "I'm going, I'm going."

Soix, befuddled but unconcerned, stood still in the middle of the path that circled the fairgrounds and watched Lou go. "Ah... I'll wait here with your luggage then, ma'am?"

— end of preview

...read the rest of this chapter on my Patreon!

all chapters FREE for EVERYONE to read on Patreon after 7 days,
available by clicking the link above
☆ don't want to wait? become a patron to read the new chapter right now! ☆

Her Majesty The Prince

	Act I

The City

 

---

— Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V —
— Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X —
— Part XI Part XII Part XIII Part XIV Part XV —