Zarpaulus

Writer of sci-fi and horror

Underemployed biologist and creator of the Para-Imperium setting. Currently writing the webcomic "Joanna: Ghost Hunter."


cacklingmammal
@cacklingmammal
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NireBryce
@NireBryce

important to realize the other half of this: some people may see requests of yours as demands, or trust you as an authority, and if you keep an eye out you can save a lot of strife. Especially if you're confident or are perceived to have more experience.

edit to clarify: this isn't "be Ever Vigilant", but instead "just keep an eye out so you can clarify early if it seems someone parsed you as such"

another good clarification: https://cohost.org/Osmose/post/5616045-imo


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in reply to @cacklingmammal's post:

in reply to @NireBryce's post:

mostly i pay attention to how they act after and try and short circuit things, but I also am a little careful about every past phrase that's triggered this.

also all my local friends got on guanfacine and at least for ADHD folks with rsd that kinda changed a lot of it to a much much lower threshhold

also https://cohost.org/Osmose/post/5616045-imo

basically, you can't nec. notice for every action (and, I would say, it's unhealthy to for both parties to be a hawk on this, since it also delays their realization often) but you can notice if there's a pattern, and that's when to poke at it

before it becomes something fraught, like you ending up as partners and them doing it around sex or bdsm. or they start taking your opinions as fact and applying them, or them directly applying your advice instead of adapting to their context. or them thinking you're overriding their idea instead of suggesting improvements.

or you're their manager. even perfectly-neurotypicals will do this one depending on how they're raised about authority. but it'll keep them from growing or bringing up problems.