Chess was fine but it wasn't balanced!
Enter Chess 2: The Sequel, released in 2014 by Dave Sirlin, of Sirlin Games. That's right, the mastermind who rebalanced Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (2008). This qualifies him to make the sequel Chess 2: The Sequel because chess is a fighting game.
Shut up, listen, shut up. I know what you want. You want CHESS. Well, close your eyes, imagine chess. What did you imagine? Was it this?!
DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME! In your heart, you always knew chess needed, demanded, a push-your-luck bluffing game requiring a third type of token. Feel the thrill of pummeling your enemy to build up meter! Look at those clenched fists! Those are fists of players who have the stones to make you bleed for that pawn capture.
Look, it's all in the rules. Read them if you want, I guess, if you're into that sort of thing. A true master of the arcade cabinet would be able to intuit the rules on their own through their battle hardened instincts, but I guess if you want to clean your kids' clocks at Chess 2: The Sequel then you probably don't have the time for them to put in the training hours to get there on their own.
You fool! It's over!
While you were reading this post, I studied the midline invasion! Chess never knew how to get out of the neutral game, until Chess 2: The Sequel added this new victory condition. No more ties! And look at you now, reeling from a punish you didn't feel coming. Now that my king's on your half of the board, that's my half now. That's empire, baby. Guess you'd better read those rules after all. I mean, I've already won this match, but you can train harder for whoever you're facing in losers bracket.
Look, I don't have time for this. What did you expect, coming at the king like that? Go play a couple hundred more rounds of Chess 2: The Sequel before you darken my doorstep again. You can play it here, I guess.
What's that? The six new armies? Chosen simultaneously by each player at the start of play? With various new pieces like the elephant, wild horse, warrior king, and nemesis? Thing is, I don't really have time for scrubs, so I think we're done here.