I just realized that "why would you be an asexual who has sex" is simply a different application of "why would you be a lesbian and date a butch" or "why would you be a trans man in a dress" or any number of similar things
I had to contend with years of "you can't act too feminine or girls will think you're exclusively gay and then you will be violating their boundaries by being attracted to them" and it was only after transition I realized how much this has in common with the "predatory lesbian" trope
oh god the constant fear of Being Predatory
couldn't even let myself talk to lesbians because they are the very hottest people, I'm sure this is obvious to everyone and doesn't require discussion, so how could I trust myself (definitely a male boy guy) not to flirt
shit got so twisted up I spent a while feeling like there was something wrong with me for not liking men because I was so obviously queer and how else could that make sense