three genders in a wenchcoat

getting through life intact is a sequence of convincing myself that things aren’t or weren’t That Bad to stay functional. but this is like… non-mission-critical bad, i guess?

i’m trying really hard not to be pissed, but it’s all disappointing for sure.

i appreciate such kind words 💙

just feel guilty having things so good and complaining still. like, i’ve had it worse in the past so it is hard to feel like this current moment is Really That Bad, i guess?

at any rate, i will endeavor to use such a Pass as little as possible =P

are things really going your way, or do you just so thoroughly expect to have nothing that every crumb feels like a windfall?

is your housing secure and comfortable, without strings? are you free from any and all worries about how you'll eat next month? do the people close to you recognize your independent humanity, not project their own fiction and demand you conform? all rhetorical obviously, you've chosted the answers yourself.

you feel guilty by design. it's rigorously taught by the society we were born into, and reinforced by those who benefit. it's instilled, to keep you in line and exploitable.

and I know all too well that even if you consciously see this, it still feels entirely real and can be near impossible to shake off. this kind of persistent omnipresent abuse can take a lifetime of recovery. but consider this a promise, and hopefully a stepping stone: whenever I see you expressing guilt that I know should be anger, I am angry on your behalf, because I believe you deserve better, whether or not you can believe it yet.