i agree with everything said here
it's why i'm always talking about finding your own happiness and treating people like you want to be treated. they're simple things but it makes a world of difference in how you experience life.
not everything that hurts you is done maliciously and you have to give people the same grace that you would want because everyone is going through the own thing
what you should be worried about is if there's a multiple instances of the same person being terrible
life is too long to not trust people because we all eventually need help or support or whatever
made a rule for myself a couple years ago: no online fights with people navigating their own marginalization period. even if they're fully in quisling territory. even if what they're doing directly upholds my own oppression. even if we're under the same thumb(s) and it's both. at worst, block and move on.
we're all under fire from the same direction, and that direction is up so folks get confused sometimes about where they need to be looking. and yeah it sucks when they catch me from behind with a blind swing but they too are getting hailed on and there's a button I can push to just put a wall there instead of turning it into a longer, shittier distraction for both of us. turns out most of the time I don't even need that, because not swinging back usually clears things up on its own.