three genders in a wenchcoat

original lyrics by @xinjinmeng
backing track by Sonia MacIntyre

🦡Lenestre.
Nobody on the net
Nobody on my wall
I feel it in the air
September's eternal
Empty takes, empty screens
Battery runs down alone
I'm punching in DMs
Though I know you're not at your phone

But I can see you
Your markdown in wine and cream
I see you posting shit and shots of all your screens
I can tell you, my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost are gone

🐲Rhiannon.
I never will forget those posts
I wonder if this was a fringe
Remember how your crimes amazed me
Remember how I made you cringe
Now I don't understand what happened to our site
But fam, I'm gonna get you back
I'm gonna show you how online I am

I can see you
Bespoke emoji in wine and cream
You're four levels deep, reposting some dank meme
I can tell you, my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost are gone

🍯Akhra.
Out in the world today
I saw a Love Honk sticker on a Lenovo
A little voice inside my head said
"Let it go, you've got to learn to let go"
I thought I know what love was
a f a i k
Those chosts are gone forever
I should just let them get away, but

I can see you
Earnestness in wine and cream
You've got your filters down and confessing all your dreams
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost have gone

🦡🐲🍯 chorus.
I can hear you
That Feel When wine and cream
all in lower case but i know you want to scream
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost have gone

...and maybe I want those pronouns I gave it.

🦡 ...eh. they often turn out grammatically ambiguous and don't actually feel better. reverting for now, the hunt will go on.

🦡
I share the conversations, sometimes I drop a side comment, but I'm as white as they come and it's not my lane to lead that topic. but from racialized people I see constant frustration, resignation, just plain giving up on this venue and broader communities that overlap it. last share, about the inherent stifling whiteness of "trans culture" and how that whiteness gets enforced the same way it always is, was a common topic well before cohost.

lately I'm worried that boosting is not enough, because the way shit's going there may be nobody around to boost. maybe I should veer out of my lane just a bit sometimes, when there's no traffic to block. and hell, maybe I'm more qualified than I give myself credit for... I came into all this from a weird direction. becoming close enough friends with a Black man that my trust and belief that he was entirely on the level outweighed the inertia of my racist upbringing when he opened up fully about his experiences (which took until my late 30s, mind) was the thing that convinced me to revisit other baseline 80s/90s indoctrination.

committing to antiracism is what allowed me to also start deconstructing the walls I'd built against transness. it came first, it's fundamental and inseparable. not to say it's smooth and seamless and I get it right all the time, this right here has a scent of white guilt ablation to it. but while I don't see everything, I do listen and look and right from the start I've seen the bias in "trans culture," and the explosive responses when it's pointed out. (being just a little too old for a lot of millennial touchstones probably helped: a fair chunk of that bias has excluded me too.)

so I think right here, in this intersection, I'm gonna try to be louder.

Not to take anything away from the episode's point but 15°C in late August honestly sounds really nice for the SF bay area though Trek is, after all, utopian scifi.

Rewatched these two episodes and gosh, I simultaneously think the writers deserve a lot of credit for the swings they took, and that they're a great example of the limits inherent in Trek as an ongoing examination of the liberal political imagination. Ultimately, it's heartbreaking how optimistic Past Tense (parts 1 and 2) were: the 2024 they imagined, versus the one we're living through today.

At the heart of the premise is the very common flawed liberal theory of change: one day, something so bad happens that everyone is collectively shocked into finally Doing the Right Thing. In the case of the Bell Riots, it's "hundreds of homeless people are killed by police / the national guard during an uprising" (these casualties are barely shown on camera, but I'll forgive them not having the budget for literal heaps of extras). Whereas today we know that if something like this happened, there would be untold numbers of people whose immediate reaction to the tragedy would be to side with the cops and justify the slaughter. And we know the mainstream news media, whose bread and butter is keeping people terrified of crime and the possibility of their own poverty, would echo that position.

The episodes spend a lot of their dialogue - much of it between Sisko and Bashir, our POV and moral center for the episodes - about how much of an outrageous injustice the sanctuary districts are, and how addressable the social problems seem from their 24th century perspective. But at the same time, after a few scenes of them exchanging platitudes - gosh, society "just stopped caring" - you get the feeling you're watching a horror movie where everyone is strangely unable to name the actual monster. The people in the districts are without jobs because "the economy went bad", but it doesn't really unpack how they went from that to being homeless: as in our real 2024, housing is a market not a human right. Sometime between 2024 and 2371, we know the Federation did away with this market, but narratively we're not heading to and through that moment, it's not the final boss here. The final boss is... an edgy gen X white dude in a hat with an axe to grind, I guess.

But even in depicting the districts' desperation, DS9's writers imagine ration cards, free to anyone who says they're looking for work, that guarantee them food and water at distribution points. Overall, the level of organization and systemic care taken with the sanctuary districts most closely resembles a conservative fantasy of "the nanny state", heavy-handed and administratively complex and resource-intensive, yet accountable to its people, image-conscious, with some good apples who are occasionally able to bend the rules to save a few people.

The San Francisco of actual-2024, on the other hand, doesn't bother with any of that. The real Tenderloin has no walls around it, no distribution centers or ration cards. Plenty of $200k+/year tech bros live in high rises in the area, stepping over the dying to get to their fucking Waymos. It's just much cheaper and easier, as capital's reasoning goes, to let people starve, offer them shelter that won't actually accomodate their needs, trash their possessions and arrest them. Our tough-talkin' governor in his dark sunglasses talks about the problem of "encampments" in the most dehumanizing way possible, never naming the people who live in them, before joining the cops in stealing their belongings, including wheelchairs and walkers they need to live.

"Please stop talking about me as if I’m not here or not human"

So it's really hard to watch this 1995 scifi try to depict the most gruesome poverty and social dysfunction it can imagine, and come up well short of the reality capitalism and its human instruments have created today. And its denouement - a sudden outbreak of violence we're told is shocking and transformative - is equally naive. I think we need a radically different consciousness today, but I've repeated myself too much already.

Some random notes from the rewatch:

• Tech mogul Chris Brynner mentions he had his Māori tattoo removed, implying tattoos are stigmatized in his 2024 in ways they definitely aren't in ours.
• Points to the writers for mentioning how the information infrastructure for the districts has been privatized by Brynner's own company - "your government discount has been applied", a console says to one of the guards. "I have friends in the police department", Brynner later says - it's more accurate to say they're his customers, but that's exactly how a tech guy would spin it!
• Mention of a "Pan-Carribean government" at Brynner's party of rich folks - we are, after all, in the year of the Irish Unification of 2024!
• Lotsa classic ass urban-apocalyptic fire barrels in the districts, Sisko has a hilarious (for August in SF) tic of acting like his hands are cold.
• Obligatory future slang describing the different underclasses: "gimmes, dims, and ghosts".
• One of the district residents' concrete demands is "the reinstatement of the Federal Employment Act".
• "We want to stop having to depend on handouts" - they're so virtuous, these poors! Not like the bad ones!
• Once Dax convinces Brynner to give the hostage takers internet access, ordinary people living in the district are able to tell their stories to the world, and this is later said to have a huge effect on what happens after the massacre - another moment of "if only the world knew the truth, they would do something!"
• The second ep closes with the line, "How could they have let things get so bad?", and this really is the befuddled liberal consternation at the heart of it - golly, we let it get bad! If only we hadn't let it get so bad!! Sigh.

🐲
people can't help seeing what they've been taught to see, too. living in SF from late '17 to early '23, I can't even count the number of conversations I had trying to convince theoretically leftist people to abandon their fear and loathing. "I'd rather not walk through the TL. let's take uber five blocks, it's not worth the risk of getting mugged." "wait, isn't there an encampment under the bridge up here? I don't want to be dodging syringes!" these are people trying to survive they don't want to step on syringes either and you know what I'm just gonna say it they need any cash you might have far more than you do.

and that's not some random unpredictable event you're "tempting fate" over either! I walk these streets you shudder at in heels at 3am on the regular because it turns out if you just fucking acknowledge the humanity of nearby humans golly gee they tend to return the favor. but if you act like a bougie fuck worried that you don't have any constables in range to shriek for if the untouchables get too close, yeah a few of the folks your class (or at least the one you're overtly carrying water for) has made terminally desperate might get a little Robin Hood about it.

you know who I genuinely fear in this city at night, who I cross the street and step into shadows to avoid? any group of three or more white men in suits. people who have never once had the experience of being denied their humanity, have no fear of repercussions for denying others', might in fact fully believe it's their birthright to do so. those are the scourge of my streets. those men are in no uncertain terms the reason there are people stuck living under bridges to begin with.

🦡
turns out tho, it's really hard to explain certain things to people who don't have the context but believe they do. there's a reason one of my karaoke go-tos in the city was Common People by Pulp... and there was always a crowd of people singing along. people in nice clean clothes they bought this year, people who clearly enjoyed good nutrition, people who weren't missing any front teeth. people who, maybe, had in fact lain awake at night watching roaches climb the walls; but a call to their dad could have stopped it all.

I landed in that social circle by outrageous happenstance and always expected it to be temporary. I know poverty up close and personal, I've couch surfed in trailer parks and slept in a bookstore's back office sharing a ricecooker pot of stolen ramen and parmesan with six people. it's frankly (whitely) miraculous that I haven't ever slept under a bridge, I've been one step from it many times, and I always expected to be back on that brink one day (spoiler: yup lol). I knew the general shape of my disability by the time I stumbled into software, I'd been through the long cycle of it enough times; and I was under no illusion that anything I achieved in a few good years, no matter how impressive and valuable, would grant me enough grace to coast through the inevitable bad. but I was offered what sounded like a fortune, enough to at least give me a few years of security once that shoe dropped... I simply did not understand the magnitude of SF expenses: I could pay my rent and socialize as expected, but not put anything away, or for most of it even avoid accumulating debt. this was clear inside three months, but of course I didn't have the funds to move back out. nothing but to make the most of it, avoid the street, fucking sympathize with those who hadn't, always keep a $20 on hand for the first person to ask because one day it would be me again, and try desperately to explain all this to genuinely well-meaning people who had never stolen a grapefruit for fear of scurvy from a month of ramen and parmesan.