ok so, like a lot of people I'm not really loving my options for cohost replacements. this one was the cool one ;_;
but! for me specifically, quitting cold turkey feels like a really bad idea. I don't think i was always the best at this, but I tried to make a point about interacting! from big stuff like direct dms to smaller things like comments and likes, I was here to get social practice in, if that makes sense. So, like it or not, I need a replacement. and an irl replacement is still out of reach for me, atm.
The big, hard requirement for me is that it needs to be a social space, and not a place to dump media. that, on its own, disqualifies 99% of sites. Most social media sites are just media sites with just a bit of social interaction mixed in, and that will simply Not Do if the goal is the social interaction, and not the media. (like, I know I've posted songs and things here but, I don't expect soundcloud or bandcamp to replace my cohost presence, right?)
Twitter, and twitter clones, are in a really tough spot for me with this one. yeah, it's a place where you're just supposed anything your want into a textbox and hit post, but i think in a very specific way the design of twitter is "meant to" turn social interactions into Media. like, a good post on twitter isn't one that invites social interaction, genuinely, if that's happening to you that's a Ratio and Bad. a banger tweet is one that can be screenshotted and divorced of context and shared as media. and so trying to do anything other than that on those kinds of platforms is very much swimming upstream.
so, i guess, let me run down the options and how I feel about them atm
Make your own website!
That's Media. it can be cool, indie media, and maybe your website will be really cool! but it doesn't invite interaction, which is the specific thing I'm looking for.
bluesky
Twitter clone :( the fact that replies show up on other people's timelines, that likes, follows and blocks are all public, really really spook me. That, plus their stance on moderation, feels structurally designed to make me feel as unsafe as possible in interacting, so even if everyone I personally interact with there is Cool, i don't think it's for me.
dreamwidth/pillowfort/other livejournal clones
...idk? I'm biased against it based on the experiences I've had with their users here, but they do allow longform writing and replies and comments and other suchlike things. very, very little of my posts so far have been longform, though. so. idk.
tumblr
ok I recognize going from a website that's shutting down to a website that's in permanent maintenance mode and is just letting the lead paint slowly chip off is probably not a smart move, but they do have asks '~' I'm genuinely considering it, but the fear of sudden, unexpected hostility is 100% there, and isn't ever going to go away.
Mastodon
Of the twitter clones, I feel like this is the better option. the opportunity for strict moderation and the ability to say "actually I'm not interested in the wider fediverse this is the Gay Freak Corner" means that of the options here, it's the only that really claim to get the benefits of being a small site. I just have to accept, I think, that the mission of the fediverse and my mission, in posting, are just diametrically opposed. I'm not going to "the Elephant site", I'm going to "tiny site for critters that happens to share the same code" or so.
Discord
Surprise! I don't think many people are including this because they already use discord for different purposes, but. it is a social site! it's purpose built for social interactions in a way that nothing else on the list is.
the problem for me is that discord is focused on "synchronous" social interactions. like. if you want to be part of a conversation you need to be there when it happens. and that's tough for me, still. (sorry if I still haven't responded to a DM you sent me! that's 100% on me, i still like u) I still compose like 90% of my messages in a text editor and only paste it into discord later, just to avoid the "X is currently typing" notification.
and, weirdly, in reverse, I feel very uncomfortable posting Media to discord? like it feels like "HEY I MADE THIS LOOK AT IT YOU MUST RESPOND". and. I don't want to do that or have that done to me.
so i dunno. I feel like I either have to Get Over it and just start responding to people on discord, or otherwise go to masto and hope that an influx of people who have Seen a Better Way encourages smaller instances to accommodate them, whatever that may mean. probably both...
