this was even true for the most part when I came out as bi, even before I had tackled any of my gender feelings in any meaningful way. I can think of maybe two people that had any actual enthusiam for me coming out.
it's always this measured response, like they can't just be happy for me. they talk in quieter voice to show me they're taking it seriously, maybe? but I don't want serious, I want someone to feel my joy, I want someone to be excited in the way that I am. instead they just let the fire die. oh that's nice. that's good that you figured that out.
i feel selfish complaining. they're accepting, for the most part.
coming out as trans was harder. when I was bi it was a thing that people learned and then never mentioned again. they could safely ignore it. but being trans is different. i'm going to change and that change is something that is being done to them in their mind. i am changing from the person they knew. this wasn't part of the deal.
even when they're accepting they still make sure i know that it's my responsibility to be patient with them. it's my fault that i feel hurt when they deadname me, when they misgender me. "sorry i did this but also you need to be sorry that you cared that i did it".
i think i've heard the same words from pretty much every cis person i've told, like verbatim.
"you need to be patient with me"
it's not even just defensiveness of their own words, they defend other people's words too. i have to understand that this other person, who they don't personally know, is just dealing with the fact that i changed.
it's always my fault. cis people are fucking cowards. just take responsibility for the thing you said. own the things you say. apologize or don't. change or don't. but don't act like this is a burden. i am not your burden.
"you have your support system, now we have to find ours"
my parents actually said that to me
what the fuck
i'm not your burden
you took something from me that i can't get back
and that still isn't enough
i'm over begging people to see me
i'm not your burden