alterae

🏳️‍⚧️

  • it/its, she/her

former government employee, CS major, ski lift operator, and summer camp counselor. currently shooting for EMT certification


homepage (old)
alterae.github.io/
other homepage (largely deprecated)
alterae.srht.site/
reposted writings, something blog-ish
alterae.prose.sh/
fediverse (again!)
tech.lgbt/@alterae

i spent a semester in college, and it has been a semester since then

and it's taking that i've learned more, had more fun, and feel more certain about my career prospects now than i ever did in college. and it's cheaper, too

i went from being a CS major with undiagnosed mental health issues to a ski lift operator with diagnosed mental health issues

and from there i ended up discovering a whole lot of new interests and things i enjoy a lot more than i ever enjoyed touching computers

and in a sense i'm incredibly lucky, because i had the resources to fuck around and find out outside of college

but also like

a lot of the classes i've been taking are free! i got to wear a hazmat suit and learn about radiological materials and it didn't cost me a dime

also you can just take FEMA independent study courses online for free and i really do recommend them because some of them are genuinely really applicable to things well outside the domain of emergency management (and also they look good on a résumé and are again literally free and don't require any human interaction)

if you told past michelle a year ago that she'd be where i am now, she would not believe you

i don't know where i'll be in another year, but i'm not afraid like i once was. i have options, and i know i won't be working a soul-crushing tech industry job like i spent years thinking i would

i don't really have a good conclusion for this except to say that like:

  • fuck around
  • find out
  • as long as you keep learning no experience is a a complete waste

even my ill-fated attempt at college was ultimately an important learning experience. it sucked and i was miserable and i cried when i had to drop out and i would not want to go through it again, but it taught me a lot about myself and about college (and a little about math, architecture, and linguistics)

i'm glad i dropped out, and i regret going in the first place, but ultimately it wasn't a total waste. all i can do is learn from it and move forward. all i can ever do

and i plan to keep this up. to keep learning and growing and going where my interests and circumstances take me. to keep wiping up my tears and learning from my mistakes. to keep moving forward and becoming even cooler than i already am
may i never stop learning for as long as i live


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