one last personal post for tonight but i find it enormously frustrating how even things that you enjoy can start to be built up in your head as chore-like and start avoiding them. just because they fall slightly outside of the like 5 things you do all the time.
like i loved the first episode of utena! but ive been procrastinating enough on watching ep 2 that im now officially behind on the weekly rewatch. i do plan to get caught up and just watch 2 eps before next week. but i literally enjoyed ep 1 and expect to enjoy 2 so idk why this is so hard.
similarly ive been writing less and less lately. and like for a while there i was really doing a bunch every single day and i felt like i was getting a lot out of it - even just like personal diary type stuff1 was something i felt really good about doing and enjoyed. but like ive been more and more inconsistent about my morning journaling and ive barely been writing my thoughts throughout the day as well. and again it's like, why??? why do i have such mental resistance to something that i actively enjoy?
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which i guess this technically counts as, although its not 100% since im writing this for the purpose of Sharing as opposed to just Recording my Thoughts