Annie D

Originally published in @buttonhook

Recipes in massively multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPGs) like Final Fantasy XIV are infamous for being unpalatable, including body parts of fantasy critters, like “sauteed chimera kidneys” or “fried spiderling egg sacs.”

Final Fantasy XIV is unusual, as the recipe list is often mundane and even appetizing. Recipes are based on real-world ingredients and dishes from the cultures that inspired the in-game locations, with a few name swaps like “popoto” for potato or “dodo” for chicken.

Archon loaf is the exception.

The infamous mystery loaf’s name stems from its inventor, an Archon of Sharlayan, famed nation of mages and scholars. Archons are the smartest of the smart, but all that studying left no time for food, so he invented a loaf that would contain a complete nutritious meal in a slice, with an emphasis on nutrition over flavor. It remains a favorite of some students, and reviled by others.

Perhaps the ingredient list explains why: rye flour, carrot, spinach, and . . . herring.

Nonetheless, I’ve been morbidly curious about Archon loaf. Despite its reputation, the idea could work with some tweaking. It’s similar to Finnish kalakukko, another “fish in rye bread” I quite like.

Perhaps as a visual joke, the in-game model resembles an unassuming loaf of brown sandwich bread. Sandwich loaf is a yeast dough however, and I dare not imagine the smell of yeast-fermented herring, so I chose a traditional “quick bread” instead. Think zucchini bread . . . but with fish.

It reeked like a harbor in my kitchen while it baked, but the end result is surprisingly pleasant, though definitely an acquired taste. It’s rich, filling, sweet yet savory, and less fishy than expected; it makes a shockingly acceptable midday snack. I actually ate the whole loaf.

One thing’s for sure, though: after a slice of Archon loaf, you’ll no longer be hungry.

Almost immediately after I linked this on the chostie server, Discord crashed on me.

Once again, capitalism steals bread from the people.

Originally published in @buttonhook

Recipes in massively multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPGs) like Final Fantasy XIV are infamous for being unpalatable, including body parts of fantasy critters, like “sauteed chimera kidneys” or “fried spiderling egg sacs.”

Final Fantasy XIV is unusual, as the recipe list is often mundane and even appetizing. Recipes are based on real-world ingredients and dishes from the cultures that inspired the in-game locations, with a few name swaps like “popoto” for potato or “dodo” for chicken.

Archon loaf is the exception.

The infamous mystery loaf’s name stems from its inventor, an Archon of Sharlayan, famed nation of mages and scholars. Archons are the smartest of the smart, but all that studying left no time for food, so he invented a loaf that would contain a complete nutritious meal in a slice, with an emphasis on nutrition over flavor. It remains a favorite of some students, and reviled by others.

Perhaps the ingredient list explains why: rye flour, carrot, spinach, and . . . herring.

Nonetheless, I’ve been morbidly curious about Archon loaf. Despite its reputation, the idea could work with some tweaking. It’s similar to Finnish kalakukko, another “fish in rye bread” I quite like.

Perhaps as a visual joke, the in-game model resembles an unassuming loaf of brown sandwich bread. Sandwich loaf is a yeast dough however, and I dare not imagine the smell of yeast-fermented herring, so I chose a traditional “quick bread” instead. Think zucchini bread . . . but with fish.

It reeked like a harbor in my kitchen while it baked, but the end result is surprisingly pleasant, though definitely an acquired taste. It’s rich, filling, sweet yet savory, and less fishy than expected; it makes a shockingly acceptable midday snack. I actually ate the whole loaf.

One thing’s for sure, though: after a slice of Archon loaf, you’ll no longer be hungry.