Someone was saying that lots of people feel lonely and miss in-person contact, but few try to build communities. This person was saying something important, and I don't want to diminish their claim. What I will say is that I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to meet people. Sometimes I go to event with the intent of talking with strangers, but I never do. I never make connection, and end up alone. And like, I can be bold! When I have a clear idea of what to do, I do it, no matter if I need to talk to someone or even throw a stink in public. I am capable of doing it, I know that. I don't know how to meet people.
I don't know how to maintain communities. Frankly, it feels immoral for me to maintain a community, because if people depend on me and I don't show up (which I often do, for myriads of reasons), then I have let down everyone. That's part of why I had to abandon the notion of moral responsibility: if moral responsibility exist, then I am guilty, but that guilt does not provide me with a clear way forward, so I have to ignore it, lest I get paralysed. In my experience, guilt motivate action when there is a clear way forward and a precise set of action I need to do,1 otherwise it just spiral.
It's like, people seem to have an intuitive understanding of the step involved with meeting people, and I don't. I feel that way about a lot of things, cleaning for instance. I need to think to solve these problems, and my solutions are rarely good. There is so many gaps I don't know how to fill, and I stay stuck until the gap is filled. And the "don't sweat the small stuff" doesn't work because it's not small stuff. It's like, how to maintain a conversation.
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and that's assuming the clear way forward is the right thing to do. Guilt sometimes push me toward action that would cause more problem, like trying to apologize to someone who doesn't want it. I had to learn to ignore that guilt.