When my husband and I were both on Twitter, something frustrating that (only) guys did was message me about him in such a way that would communicate that the only reason they would message me was to connect with him.
Often, they were guys I wanted to be friendlier with, but their messages about my husband would indicate that somehow I failed, that I'm only an optional vector to reach him even though his DMs were open.
Rant inside
I reflect on this now because we've both stopped using Twitter regularly. In his case, he went whole hog into Bluesky a month ago and ultimately decided to delete his Twitter account this week. I, on the other hand, just started using cohost more, but I still browse Twitter from "main" sometimes (but decreasingly) to see what my holdouts are up to and from my alt to look at porn, the kind of which is much easier to find there than here.Anyway, a "mutual" messaged me two days ago apparently—I did not get notified—to ask if my husband is OK with respect to his account being deleted. This guy has his phone number and is connected to him on other social media. Why are you messaging me? Or rather, why are you only messaging me now? I've been here existing all other times, but you only think of me now? This isn't even a rando but someone my husband had a very close relationship with, and we even vacationed last summer with him and his husband. We have had a relationship.
The worst example that still sticks in me for some reason was another guy, who was ostensibly sweet and cute and got popular on Twitter for those reasons. Both my husband and I were mutuals with him. I had messaged him a few times about random innocuous stuff, always me initiating (which is fine). Eventually, he messages me asking if my husband is OK because he was unable to tag him in a tweet, to which I'm thinking I'm not his secretary, deal with it yourself.
He then proceeds to ask me to send my husband a pic of Fry's dog from the "Jurassic Bark" episode of Futurama, the one that my husband has very clearly stated in public emotionally devastates him. I tell him no, and he asks me why, and I state it's because it'll upset him. And he's like "oh OK". And I just see red because the only reason this guy thought to message me ever was to trigger my husband's negative reaction? How selfish and stupid.
These annoyances were extremely rare, but I'm looking forward to my husband and me existing on different platforms, so I don't have to experience them again. I'm happy he's enjoying Bluesky, but I just have no interest in trying to re-capture whatever Twitter was. And I'd love for him to join cohost, but it's perfectly fine if he doesn't. I'll keep sending him good posts like I used to send him good tweets.