(This is my own experience, as a white millennial deciding where to live. I'm a trans woman, though for much of the time I was seen as a cis man, which gave me more opportunities.)
I'm an urbanist. I think population density is generally a good thing, that it allows people to live better and less ecologically damaging lives than they would if they were isolated. It creates communities and spaces and neighborhoods and culture. And almost nobody can afford it anymore.
I would love to live an urban lifestyle for my whole life, but there are many other things I love that I could do with the million and a half dollars that would require.
I was in a good position where I could have stuck with it! I had the option, if I wanted, of working my ass off until a late retirement, so I could pay for a place that my wife and I would be happy with and still have some money left for healthcare. Assuming I kept a job that whole time. I didn't choose that option, though I know some would kill to have it as an option at all.
I'm an urbanist who lives in suburbia now. It's comfy enough, and not owing anybody a million dollars to keep living is pretty great. I'm not saying suburbia is better. But if you judge people for living in suburbia, stop to ask yourself if the alternative is actually available to most people.