where do you buy impact play things? which of the websites is like a legitimate business and not something you want to avoid.

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Do you talk to the computer as if it could hear you? Does it ever talk back?
where do you buy impact play things? which of the websites is like a legitimate business and not something you want to avoid.
My personal recommendation, though it can take some time if you aren't set up, is to look for local tool makers on FetLife! It's where I've bought all of my premade and custom impact play tools so far. May I ask if you are looking for any types of tools in particular? I may be able to help though I can't make too many guarantees.
i think we aren't sure yet, my partner and i are figuring out how to explore it and what even exists rn
Etsy can definitely be a hit for some more exploratory tools for sure then, though yep, you are going to run into some vendors who are really just cranking out low-quality tools. While these will still have a lot of false positives and you simply can't guarantee anything, here are a couple things you can look out for!
This doesn't guarantee anything, but keep an eye out for impact tools with actual photos, not renders or stock-shot photos. While a lot of sellers use lightboxes, often times you can definitely realize when something is just a glorified screenshot, and that is just less likely to be good.
Look through a vendor's whole collection! Are the listings extremely similar or have copy-pasted descriptions? Do you see basically 10 entries for the same thing just with the smallest change? That might be a mass-production vendor or reseller.
Check to see if they at least list where they are made and what they are made with. The more info they have on the actual creation of the implements, the more they have to stand behind if they lie to you end up shipping something totally different, so they're far less likely to do it.
(As an addendum to that, does the listing just say 'leather'? Message them to ask which leather. 9 times out of 10 unless you are talking to a very small or more expensive vendor, the answer will probably be TPU synthetic leather. TPU is totally safe for play, but it will break faster, the quality is going to be a good deal lower, it will likely be lighter than a real leather tool, and it may come with a nasty smell though that should go away after a bit.)
And also, some of these mass-produced places can still be decent, even if they are going to be lower quality! Especially if you are starting out and looking to try a lot of things, as long as you are comfortable you're going to get at least what it looks like in the picture (and Etsy will take care of you if you don't) then it may not be the worst idea instead of springing for something small-batch made.
Hope this at least gives you a few starting points!