Subject: [ACTION REQUIRED - Please Read!!] HR Notice
Body:
Your vacation time off was approved. No action is required.
Subject: [URGENT] Mandatory Meeting in 3 Minutes
Body:
hewwo this is your project manager, I'm lonely UwU
Subject: Townhall Fireside AMA with Some Director you didn't know you had!
Body:
My performance evals are coming up soon and I need to make an appearance before the peons. I will give a 50 minute presentation with absolutely no content. 10 minutes are held for Q&A, but I will not actually answer any questions.
Subject: Automated Robot Logger Message Broker Notification
Body:
(100 lines of entirely unreadable garbage)
A server somewhere is on fire. The company is hemorrhaging money. End times are nigh.
(100 more lines of entirely unreadable garbage)
Opportunity Costs:
| Branches | TARGET | |||||||||||
| SOURCE | nail | bugs | pem | tng-cat-fairbin | plam | am | regex | orca | logically-unplugged | security | managemant-yak | cpm |
| nail | 92 | 18511 | 39367 | 1401 | 5473 | 9515 | 5857 | 43840 | 3953 | 45184 | 39408 | |
| bugs | 18125 | 57378 | 26425 | 27243 | 57412 | 44463 | 38207 | 9136 | 57402 | 32648 | 57412 | |
| pem | 476 | 476 | 476 | 6761 | 513 | 5965 | 4191 | 4941 | 513 | 4170 | 513 | |
| tng-cat-fairbin | 0 | 2 | 19 | 5044 | 46 | 3711 | 3747 | 4498 | 56 | 5840 | 44 | |
| plam | 104 | 106 | 207 | 33 | 129 | 128 | 9 | 207 | 60 | 722 | 80 | |
| am | 58 | 65 | 167 | 36 | 6468 | 831 | 3859 | 2379 | 151 | 2421 | 64 | |
| regex | 5 | 89 | 117 | 23 | 855 | 12 | 6 | 83 | 21 | 59 | 17 | |
| orca | 23 | 61 | 227 | 50 | 3097 | 165 | 2154 | 184 | 160 | 1308 | 100 | |
| logically-unplugged | 69 | 24 | 97 | 90 | 1497 | 48 | 101 | 22 | 132 | 2056 | 84 | |
| security | 1043 | 458 | 1153 | 1148 | 7269 | 1152 | 2012 | 4622 | 5467 | 4933 | 236 | |
| managemant-yak | 125 | 52 | 152 | 138 | 117 | 141 | 2881 | 560 | 1640 | 21 | 28 | |
| cpm | 19 | 19 | 5 | 19 | 6347 | 3 | 5544 | 614 | 2701 | 19 | 5816 |
Files with Deep, Internal Conflicts about the Nature of Reality and the Deep Truths of the Infernal Human Disaster:
| Branches | TARGET | |||||||||||
| SOURCE | nail | bugs | pem | tng-cat-fairbin | plam | am | regex | orca | logically-unplugged | security | managemant-yak | cpm |
| nail | 0 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 9 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 0 | |
| bugs | 1 | 5 | 3 | 13 | 4 | 29 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 3 | 3 | |
| pem | 4 | 6 | 5 | 41 | 5 | 26 | 10 | 25 | 6 | 4 | 5 | |
| tng-cat-fairbin | 0 | 0 | 2 | 38 | 1 | 25 | 3 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 1 | |
| plam | 4 | 7 | 14 | 9 | 1 | 3 | 5 | 13 | 13 | 11 | 14 | |
| am | 7 | 1 | 8 | 6 | 42 | 15 | 12 | 29 | 8 | 7 | 6 | |
| regex | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |
| orca | 9 | 11 | 7 | 6 | 32 | 6 | 12 | 18 | 7 | 1 | 6 | |
| logically-unplugged | 4 | 5 | 6 | 1 | 13 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 6 | |
| security | 2 | 7 | 4 | 1 | 23 | 3 | 20 | 8 | 21 | 3 | 1 | |
| managemant-yak | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 37 | 0 | 27 | 6 | 25 | 0 | 1 | |
| cpm | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 28 | 0 | 15 | 7 | 23 | 0 | 3 |
we copied them pretty directly to another website, maybe fudging a few numbers randomly, and all the names, but the names wouldn't have meant anything either!
the first table contains "number of lines of code that differ when compared between branches"
the second table contains "number of files that, when these branches are merged, contain conflicts"
nobody really questioned why 12 wildly disparate branches were necessary
