so, this conversation has been fundamentally kind of frustrating for us since you reopened contact, and we've been kind of struggling to explain why, but there's two main things bothering us here
one is that there's a profound mismatch, to us, between your words and your actions. you're saying a lot of the right things, but we don't really see you acting like you've internalized those things. instead we're seeing a lack of responsibility and reflection on your part. it's frustrating because you've made progress in that you've apologized to us for treating us poorly, but you've gone on to undo all of that progress throughout the rest of the conversation.
and two, you've tried twice to "set a boundary" on our behavior as it pertains to causing you personal discomfort or bad feelings, which is both a misunderstanding of boundaries and an incredibly tiresome microaggression centered in white guilt.
and I see people like you the moral soul of our society, working to force us to process the trauma of centuries of domination and enslavement
and I think we all serve our roles in the job of making this society, this patchwork nation bathed in blood, slightly better every day, slightly more self aware, and slightly more able to right deeply rooted wrongs ❤️
we found this direly offensive in particular — on the first front, it is Beyond Inappropriate for you to, with one hand, place the responsibility of forcing white people to confront the shit that they did to us, on us, and on the other hand, actively reject that responsibility by, for starters, totally abdicating the basic human decency of wearing a mask during an active pandemic.
instead you come to us and say that you are not only being an open and proud plague carrier who maintains an international transmission chain while organizing festivals, but that you expect us to support this decision "because you support ours".
put yourself in our shoes for a moment: if we came to you saying "sorry i was a dick to you a while ago", and in the course of catching up, you found out that i'm an anti-condom bugchaser who fucks raw from here to poland, during an STI pandemic, and had an immunocompromised partner, would you support our decisions?
it does not feel great to be stuck in our house for upward of 3 years, forcing you to process the ongoing trauma you are actively inflicting on the planet while you traipse around the world as an infection vector, instead of taking this seriously and putting in even the slightest effort to break transmission chains. if we're forcing you to process this, then how about the fuck you listen?
do you think we wouldn't notice your words being lip-service? or did you not notice the vast gulf between what you say and what you do? lastly, do you really think we consent to being part of your external moral soul, when your actions undermine that with a craven selfishness and unwillingness to take responsibility?
