i often end up lamenting how good i am at working with my own broken memory from a larger perspective (or "antimemetics training" as i like to call it) because being able to automatically piece what's going on together from very little significantly restricts how well i can go with beings i trust on my hypnokink if i just piece it back together without meaning to.
but it is a useful adaptation, and never is it more useful than when i can go "okay, that's a bundle of emotions that's gonna explode if i think in that direction, i'm going to not unpack that until i (very soon) have someone here to process that with me" and just... be aware enough of my own thought processes to see when my train of thought is going that way and redirect it. i know my own mind well enough to be able to blacklist a part of it temporarily and actually avoid going there, while not repressing it in a long-term sense.

