Autumn in Winter

Did nothing today

It was good

Me: I wish I had something to draw. If only some moment of inspiration, some shining idea would come to me. Alas, I am bereft of any creative thought or urge.

Me, two second later as recollection of all the drawings I've yet to finish and all I've yet to start floods over me: Oh yeah. Uggggghhhh. Too much to draw! It's so overwhelming and stressful! I simply cannot function like this!

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity"? Wrong. Incorrect. Observable reality shows us that this is untrue over and over again.

I propose "never assume ignorance or malice alone explains that in which both can coexist." Anyone got a better idea?

(I would also like to propose a tangential maxim, "never assume competence from the successful; never assume fairness from the wealthy.")

I think the thing that hurts most about being poor is not being able to buy presents for friends.

I can just barely afford the things I really, really want in a given year, so I buy them rather than depend on hoping friends will gift them to me. Then I don't have anything left to spend on friends anyway, so I don't expect anything from them in return. Not that I even know what else I would want anyone to give me. It's easier to manage if I only allow myself to want the things I want the absolute most. Just squash away any smaller desires as they come up.

But actually, what I want more than any stuff is to be able to make my friends happy. I just... don't think it's psychologically healthy to deprive myself to do it. So I try to do it with non-material forms of kindness instead.