I was like, super into Klout like ten years ago. I knew what time in the morning my Klout score updated and I check it every single day. A list of free things I got from Klout due to having a good Klout score
- an ear thermometer
- a bottle of green nail polish
- a 4-pack of red bull
- some McDonald's coupons
- two bottles of some sort of acai liqueur bike messengered to my office
Not gonna lie, it was that last one definitely that had me refreshing on the daily. Using hashtags on instagram, things of that nature. Chasing the kragon. Anyway thankfully I got over attempting to chase fame online because I realized the actual problem was that I fucking hated my job. Once I got a new job I didn't care as much, and once I went big viral even once on twitter I REALLY didn't care
here is a box of gum i got from Klout. this is the only thing I ever got and I posted about it with an appropriately early-2010s instagram filter
that's too much gum. this quantity of gum is a punishment. this is like the "your dad catches you smoking and makes you finish off the entire carton in one sitting" of gum. now, that being said, in 2023, I think instituting a policy of gum punishment for influencers isn't such a bad idea